All joy felt as though it had been drained out of me. My smile seemed forever lost. I couldn't eat or sleep and could hardly form a thought worth thinking. I tried to slap on a smile but could not find one lying around. I desired to sleep both day and night but rest could not be found. It was as if the world had gone from beautiful vivid colors of reds and purples to a shade of cold misty blue. I felt lost in this far away place not knowing what to do.
My Christian friends seemed distant and aloof but then again I was equally distant, too. I was very frightened by what I felt as it was out of character for me, and all I could think about was getting back to the place that I had been before everything turned blue.