Thinking Out Loud On Purpose

Shoes, Lies and Hope for Healing

2012-01-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

No one likes to be heckled, especially not by a crowd.

Biting tears stung my cheeks as I stood taking it all in. Eyes staring, tongues wagging while lies of despair and defeat swirling around me. Singularly and in pairs they all seemed to be mocking me.

The shoes, in my closet, that is.

To read the rest of this post on my friend Jennifer's blog, as part of the Because of Jesus series, click here...

When the manger is empty

2011-12-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what kind of day Joseph, Mary and Jesus had the day after His birth? If the story goes the way that we've seen it portrayed in Christmas programs, I have often wondered what the morning after was like for them. They experienced a night of angelic choirs, slept under a star of wonder, and worshipped with shepherds.

But what happened after that? Did they register for the census? Where did they go? What did they eat? Who did they meet? Did people continue to visit and worship the newborn King? Or were they tired, hungry, cold and feeling the effects of "adrenaline letdown" after all of the excitement?

Jesus was God in the flesh and I am certain that Joseph and Mary were exceptional people but they were all prone to feelings. Perhaps if the details of their "morning after" had somehow been preserved we would be surprised at what we would find. One thing that we know for sure is that with every event that occurs in one's life there is always a "morning after."

Some people enjoy the day after Christmas more than all of the days before it. They are off work or finished with the holiday preparations and finally have an opportunity to kick back and relax. They leisurely enjoy looking over their gifts or eating leftovers while watching television. Others love to go to the "after-Christmas sales" and find bargains that are kinder on their wallets or clearance decorations to put away for the next season.

Depending on the circumstances, families continue to reunite or begin to go their separate ways. Parties are planned for the next holiday and Christmas is soon forgotten as eagerness builds for ushering in the New Year. There is liess talk of spiritual value as the focus quickly turns to other things.

Perhaps that is the way things were in Bethlehem. The shepherds returned to their flocks and others went on their way having finished the census. There were no royal celebrations, festive gatherings or high society parties. Maybe the manger was empty and it was just like the beginning of another day.

A day that, unknown to many, changed the course of history because a King had been born Who would one day save the people from their sins. He would give sight to the blind, mobility to the lame and eternal life to those who believe.

The manager was empty but lives would be full of hope as a result of His birth.

Can you imagine waking up to the sunrise when you have never seen the light of day? Or strapping sandals on to go for a walk even though you had not taken a single step before Jesus came your way? How about searching for a new job after choosing to live a different lifestyle due to an encounter with Christ? What wonderful "morning afters" for all those who were touched by Him.

Joy replaced pain, celebration took the place of sorrow and hope existed where there was once only despair. Although not many people were there to celebrate His coming to this world, I am certain there was much rejoicing in the days of Jesus’ ministry. Empty and hopeless lives were touched by His love.

So, what was your morning after Christmas like? Were you still wrapped up in the festivities or did you feel some sort of a letdown? This has been a very difficult Christmas for me. One that, in all honesty, I am glad is over. There are others who felt the same way. I have counseled some and prayed for many.

Some dreaded the very thought of Christmas and fought hard just to survive it. Their pain made it impossible for them to see Jesus in the manger at all. As sad as that sounds, and before we get too judgmental, let’s remember that Christmas is a one-day celebration that focuses on Jesus' birth. Jesus, on the other hand, is someone Who CAN be celebrated every day of the year.

I love knowing that Emmanuel, God with us, remains in our midst. He wants to be closer to you and me than we could possibly imagine. So much that He came to earth, lived and died for us. His Presence is still here to touch our lives and He longs to heal and change those who are willing.

After all, isn't that why Christmas occured in the first place? So that Christ could come to dwell with us. He brought with Him priceless gifts including: life, joy, peace, love, forgiveness and healing--just to name a few. These gifts remain among us even when Christmas has come and gone.

The manger is empty but our hearts and lives can be full because the Holy Spirit has made certain of this.

We can have miraculous encounters with the living God. And, if we will let Him have charge of our lives, no matter what we go through I believe that we have some very special celebrations in store for us. They may not come when we expect them to but they will come in His time. He has a plan. The question is will we be open to it?

Will we patiently allow Him to change our sorrow into joy? Our hopelessness into hope? Our anxiety into peace? Our fear into faith? If we do then, even though the manger is empty, our hearts can be full of Christ.

I've found that being open to God's plan requires something very important. It requires straying from the tendency we have to maximize Christ's presence in our lives during the "holiday season" while minimizing it the rest of the year. The secret to finding cause for celebration and experiencing life-changing events is this: don’t let Him just be Christ at Christmas, let Him be central and have the spotlight every day of your life.

The manger is empty but our hearts are full when Christ is in our lives.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

(edited repost)

Emmanuel

2011-12-19T00:30:00.000-08:00

There is a word that I absolutely love. Something about it drips with a sweetness which I cannot quite explain.

Each time I hear it the beat of my heart quickens as the droning of the familiar noises of the day are suddenly pushed further into the distance. Sometimes they are even silenced momentarily as this four syllable word crosses my mind or escapes my lips.

Emmanuel.

Perhaps you've heard it as part of this chorus:

Emmanuel, Emmanuel.
His name is called Emmanuel.
God with us, revealed in us.
His name is called Emmanuel.
(lyrics by Bob McGee)

Although most often heard in conjunction with Christmas it's not just a seasonal song or concept. I'm puzzled as to why we speak this word so seldom throughout the year. I've pondered this today, after reading these verses as part of my morning devotional:

"All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him E(I)mmanuel” (which means “God with us”)." Matthew 1:22-23 NIV

I realize that this Scripture takes place within the confines of the nativity story but the prophetic fulfillment of the birth of Jesus ushered in something that mankind had long been awaiting; the possibility to once again have unhindered fellowship with God.

Emmanuel.

God with us.

Perhaps what makes this word both so powerful and yet at times so hard to grasp is its actual meaning. If it meant God near us, or around us, or by us--it would be much easier to comprehend for most of us. For some reason it seems much more plausible to our human minds. It leaves God coming and going as He desires or perhaps us coming and going as we please.

God with us takes the relationship to a different level. To the place where He "never leaves or forsakes us." To a new sense of awareness that He does not pick and choose the situations in which He will be active in our lives. It brings unhindered fellowship 24/7 with Yahweh--our holy God. And it means that He is ever-present.

It means that when He came, He came to stay.

With us.

In us.

Not God in our neighborhood, or God in our city, or God somewhere within screaming distance--God with us.

Now that's a powerful thought and it's hard to grasp, isn't it? That the King of Kings would vacate his heavenly throne and come to this world to rescue fallen humanity, by sacrificing Himself, totally boggles my mind.

"He so loved us that, for our sake,
He was made man in time,
although through him all times were made.

He was made man, who made man.
He was created of a mother whom he created.
He was carried by hands that he formed.
He cried in the manager in worldess infancy, he the Word,
without whom all human eloquence is mute."
Augustine, Sermon 188, 2 (Taken from the book Pursuing the Christ by Jennifer Kennedy Dean)

That kind of love is beyond comprehension. It moves far past the reaches of my mind to the recesses of my spirit. And although, I'll never fully understand it, I fully embrace Him. Who could ever reject that kind of sacrifice or the constant presence of such Love in their lives?

He came to pay a debt that He did not owe. The cost was His life, which He gave freely, so that all those who believe in Him might have eternal life.

God with us--forever.

That's why I love, Emmanuel.

(edited repost)

Making room for Jesus

2011-12-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

"So it was that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:6-7

What a trip.
At the time of Jesus’ birth a census was being conducted which required people to return to their place of origin. It was while Joseph and Mary were traveling from Nazareth to Bethlehem that Jesus made His entrance into the world. Can you imagine being 9 months pregnant and riding on a donkey?

It was a birth not fit for a King.
The interesting thing about babies is that when it is time for them to be born they don't care where the birth takes place. Despite His royal lineage Jesus was no different. In the timing of things there were no fancy hotels or hospitals with elaborate birthing rooms. Apparently a lowly stable, much like a damp and dingy cave, was the only place that they could find to stay. And there Jesus was born--and laid in a manger.

Prophecy was fulfilled.
But have you ever wondered about the circumstances surrounding Christ's birth? Bethlehem? During a census? Crowds of people weary from travel. No place to stay. The Son of God came to this earth and God did not even arrange for a room for Him. He was of the noblest of origins yet born in a stinky stable because Bethlehem was the place where the prophets had said that Christ would be born. And it happened just as they said according to God's plan and timing.

Christ enters into the mayhem.
I would imagine it was utter mayhem with people traveling near and far. Wasn't it obvious, even amidst the chaos, that Mary was in a delicate condition and needed a place that was warm and clean to give birth? Apparently that didn't matter.

There was no room.
God could have snapped His fingers and cleared a room indoor. Yet in reality, not only was there no vacancy at the inn, there was really no room for Jesus--period. The Jews were looking for a royal king not a baby born of a virgin. They did not have any room in their heads or their hearts for this kind of King.

Yet He arrived and a few worshippers came.
A handful of people saw the star, heard the voices of angels, and came that night to welcome Him into this world. They had room for this One of whom the prophets had spoken. They made a journey to see and worship Him because they had simply opened the door of their heart to let their Messiah—the King of All Kings—enter in.

What if we had been there?
Would we have behaved differently? Would we have been more mindful of situation and squeezed Joseph and Mary in to a room even if it meant putting someone else out. Absolutely. We would have never allowed Jesus to take a backseat to the hustle and bustle going on around us. Right? Wrong.

We're guilty of doing the same.
We have a room, our heart, designed especially for Him but often He stands outside knocking in an effort to get in because we've left Him out. Space issues, crowding, time management issues are problems for us just as they were in Bethlehem.

We try to make room for what is important.
Church, family, friends, jobs, sports, etc. can be hard to juggle. We want to have time and space for Jesus in our hearts and lives. Yet, often when we truthfully examine things, we discover that we have room for everything and everyone else but very little room for Him. We're fitting Him in between texts, tweets, and status updates and a long list of other things because we often fail to prioritize.

It's not just about the amount of space but the place.
Perhaps we've made it more difficult than it is. Making room for Christ requires little—but for us it seems to be a lot. Jesus is looking for a totally vacancy in us. A place that is swept clean of sin and selfishness, a space that is set apart for Him not only to visit but also to come and dwell in. He wants to be our number one priority. He wants first place.

So Jesus comes knocking.
In the book of Revelation Jesus is standing on the outside of the church knocking to get in. Can you hear it? The knocking has already begun. Day in and day out Jesus is seeking to gain total access to our lives. Very often we casually send Him away until another time. How sad for us and for Him.

Putting Christ back into Christmas.
We increasingly talk about the push to put "CHRIST" back into Christmas. It is a nice sentiment, however, a seasonal relationship with Jesus is not enough. When Jesus was born into the mayhem of Bethlehem He came to stay. He is looking for a place to dwell within each one of us. Not just during Christmas but every day of our lives.

"God wants full custody not weekend visitation." Author Unknown

The question is, will we give it to Him?

(edited repost)

Deliver Me From Evil-Interview with Kathi

2011-10-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

Today, I am delighted to feature an interview with author Kathi Macias. Her latest book Deliver Me From Evil is what I would consider to be a "must read." You can check out my review of the book here.

Here's Kathi with more on the book:

How did you come up with the idea for Deliver Me From Evil and the Freedom series?

It actually came out of a phone conversation with Andrea Mullins, the publisher at New Hope. We were discussing the Extreme Devotion series (about the persecuted Church), which I was still working on at the time, and we began to consider topics for a second series. Andrea was the one who suggested human trafficking, and it really struck a chord with me. The more I researched it and worked on the proposal, the more excited I became about joining forces with others working to abolish modern-day slavery, which is exactly what human trafficking is.

What was your favorite scene to write in Deliver Me From Evil?

This book/series has been the most difficult I’ve ever written, simply because the subject matter is so dark and heavy. More than once I had to walk away and clear my thoughts before moving on from one scene to another. But interspersed between the heartache and tragedy are several lighter scenes (written and incorporated into the book out of necessity), dealing with a pastor’s family and their Bible college-bound son who inadvertently discovers the human trafficking ring and becomes involved in the heroic and dramatic rescue attempt. Any scenes revolving around the absolutely functional and loving life of the Flannery family are my favorites.

What was the most difficult scene, and why?

There were many difficult scenes in this book due to the subject matter, but the hardest had to be when the main character, 18-year-old Mara, realizes that one of the younger girls is being tortured and killed in an effort to extract information and punish her. Though the actual violence is done offstage, Mara experiences each blow and muffled scream, as does the reader.

Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? If not, how did you catch the writing bug?

Oh yes, I never wanted to be anything else. From the time I discovered the power and allure of words, I was hooked! I was an avid reader before I started kindergarten. A short story I wrote in the third grade was turned into a play for the entire PTA, and I won all sorts of awards for poetry in high school. I even told my then boyfriend (now husband) Al when we were in our early teens that I was going to be a writer one day.

How do you go about writing your fiction books? Which comes first for you, plot, characters, and/or theme?

I usually get what I call “a niggling in my soul,” which eventually emerges into the very basic theme of the book. I hate outlining and writing proposals because I do NOT develop plots or even characters ahead of time. I start with a couple of main characters, a starting and ending point for my story, and just let the rest unfold as I go. I know. We’re not supposed to do it that way, but it works for me, and I so enjoy the surprises as the story develops and my characters take over. So much fun! So long as they don’t try to lead me away from my pre-determined ending. Then I have to reign them back in a bit.

How do you get your ideas for your books?

I have ideas coming out of my ears! I am a seriously addictive idea person. You want ideas? You can have my overflow! My challenge is to figure out which ones are worth pursuing. Not every cute or fun or even meaningful idea that pops into our head is meant to be a book. I pray, think, study, bounce them off people, etc., before committing to moving ahead with one of them. For the most part, however, nearly all my book ideas are, to one degree or another, born out of some moral or social issue that I care about.

How can we find out more about you, The Freedom Series, and other books you are writing?

Please visit my website at KathiMacias.com.

I am giving a copy of Deliver Me From Evil to one of my readers. If you would like to enter for a chance to win please leave a comment on this post or on my review. The winner will be chosen on Saturday, October 29th.

You can also stop by the Christian Speakers Services blog and leave a comment for an opportunity to win as well as visit the CSS Freedom Series virtual tour on Facebook.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speakers Services (ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

Deliver Me From Evil-Review

2011-10-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

The book: Deliver Me From Evil (book #1 in the Freedom Series) introduces readers to Mara, an eighteen-year-old girl who has been enslaved for nearly ten years, having been sold by her parents in Mexico and then smuggled across the border into San Diego where she was forced into sexual slavery. Readers will also meet 18-year-old, Bible-college-bound Jonathan and his 16-year-old sister, Leah, whose paths cross Mara’s and who become involved in her dramatic rescue.

Interwoven between the stories of Mara, Jonathan, and Leah is the heartbreaking story of another young woman in captivity in the Golden Triangle of Thailand, whose past life mysteriously connects to the young people in San Diego. This book captures the reader from the start. You'll want to read it from beginning to end.

The review: Kathi Macias is a masterful story-teller. This year, I have read a half dozen of her books and have found each one to be far more than a good fictional read. They go deep touching on sensitive issues within our society in a way that is educational, informative and challenging.
Deliver Me From Evil brings to light the horrors involved in sexual slavery. When I began reading I was not certain that I could endure the pain involved in the storyline. It paints that realistic of a picture of the plight of those who are victims of such atrocities. Despite the dark storyline, I found myself unable to stop reading. I'm so thankful I continued. A little later in the book hope was introduced in the form of a young man who, despite floundering in his faith, when confronted head-on with several sexual slaves discovers his mission in life. His mission, which should be the same for each one of us, is to find a way to help set sexual captives free and abolish human trafficking forever.

To say much more would give the story away. I don't want to do that, although I will give a copy of the book away at the end of this post. Please stay tuned for details. You do not want to miss the opportunity to read Deliver Me from Evil. It could mean the difference for the life of someone you have never met, or someone that you will come to know.

Let me explain. There are many misconceptions regarding human trafficking. I know this because I possessed some of them prior to reading this book. I knew that the issue was destructive and devastating. I also knew that it was growing. Yet somehow I had the mistaken notion that this evil was happening outside of the United States. It is a huge issue in foreign countries but it is also a growing problem in America.

I couldn't stop thinking about the subject, after putting the book down, so I did a little research. It appears that over the past few years human trafficking in America has increased massively. Some estimate that as many as 18,000 people are being trafficked within our own country each year. And, it is highly doubtful that those numbers accurately reflect the magnitude of the problem since it is, obviously, an illegal activity and those being exploited are unable to free themselves and or contact the authorities.

While searching further I was grieved to find that in my home state of Tennessee an increasing number of children, under the age of 14, are being used as sexual slaves. That means the problem isn't just in our country. It's basically in my backyard.

I've come away from this book with the knowledge that WE have got to become properly educated on this subject. There are ways to help. Sex rings can be broken up. It is possible for human trafficking to be abolished. There is hope for those being held captive against their will. We can make a difference. But it will require much prayer and organized action on our part.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. Whether you are a pastor, teacher, parent, or student there is something to be learned from Deliver Me From Evil. It is a faith-based story but even an unbeliever can benefit from reading it. How else can we part of the solution without first understanding the problem?

Kathi Macias has done an outstanding job of shining the light on this issue. I hope that you will take the time to read Deliver Me From Evil and prayerfully consider what you can do to help abolish sexual slavery right here in our own backyard.

I'll be giving a copy of Deliver Me From Evil away to one of my readers on Saturday, October 29th. If you would like to enter to win, please leave a comment on either this post or on the interview with Kathi Macias.

The author: Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored nearly 30 books and ghostwritten several others. A former newspaper columnist and string reporter, Kathi has taught creative and business writing in various venues and has been a guest on many radio and television programs. Kathi is a popular speaker at churches, women’s clubs and retreats, and writers’ conferences. She won the prestigious 2008 member of the year award from AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) at the annual Golden Scrolls award banquet. Kathi “Easy Writer” Macias lives in Homeland, CA, with her husband, Al, where the two of them spend their free time riding their Harley.

You will find a very enjoyable interview with the author here.

Be sure to leave a comment to be entered in the drawing for a free copy of Deliver Me From Evil. Thanks!

Behind the scenes of A Christmas Journey Home

2011-10-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today we are taking a "behind the scenes" look at Kathi Macias' latest book A Christmas Journey Home which I found to be a phenomenal read. Please be sure to leave a comment for a chance to win a FREE copy of the book. You'll find details about the giveaway at the end of this post.

At first glance you might think that A Christmas Journey Home is simply a fictional "holiday read." However, it is so much more. It is a window into the world of illegal immigration. And, it's a mirror which allows us to reflect.

When dealing with the issues, such as illegal immigration, we often do a lot of generalizing based on our own personal thoughts. Because of our tendency to see things only from one perspective our view is very often tainted. One-sided. Even prejudiced.

That is what makes a book like A Christmas Journey Home so important. It is far more than just a good fictional story. It is highly informative. It is moving. It is challenging.

Kathi Macias is an expert at crafting her books in a way that allows readers to see all the way around the issues. Most often this occurs through the eyes of the characters.This well-rounded view tends to push the readers past wrongly perceived notions. As a result the experience has the power to be life-changing. At least that has been the case for me.

I don't typically walk away from a fictional story thinking about its characters for days. However, A Christmas Journey Home has that kind of impact. If you allow it to, the message has the power to both teach and transform. Who can say that about most fictional books? Kath Macias' books provide a unique reading experience. I can't recommend them highly enough.

Here is more from Kathi on A Christmas Journey Home:

How did you come up with the idea for A Christmas Journey Home?

I knew I wanted to do a Christmas book—the first of what would become an annual event that my publisher and I were discussing—and I also knew that despite the lighter tone required in a Christmas book (as opposed to the darker themes of the persecuted Church and human trafficking, which I’ve been writing about), I had to stick to my “brand” as closely as possible: hence, an “issues-related” Christmas novel, dealing with the issues related to illegal immigration.

What was your favorite scene to write in A Christmas Journey Home?

I loved writing this entire book, and the characters are delightful (except the villains, of course!), so I loved almost all the scenes. But I think I liked the scenes with Isabella’s old abuelo best, as the grandfather reminded me of my own grandpa and even my dad, both of whom I loved dearly. I love incorporating at least one elderly saint in each of my books, and in this one I decided on a man since most of the other books have had women as the elderly, praying characters. I also brought in a little boy because children can add such a delightful element to any story, and six-year-old Davey certainly does that in A Christmas Journey Home.

What was the most difficult scene, and why?

The toughest scene had to be when Francisco and Isabella thought they were finally on the verge of being able to get away from the migrant camp and find a small home of their own, where their baby could be born in relative comfort and safety. If you’ve read the book, you know that isn’t at all what happens. But this heartbreaking scene had to take place to bring the story to its miraculous conclusion.

What is there about you, apart from writing, that many people don’t know?

First, my “road name” is “Easy Writer” because my husband and I were Harley riders for many years. (We’ve traded the bike in on a 2005 Corvette, so I’m still “Easy Writer” but in comfort now!) Also, I served on staff at a large Southern California church for several years, training small group leaders and doing biblical counseling, among other things.

Who are some of your favorite writers, and are you an avid reader?

Absolutely I’m an avid reader! I have always loved books/reading/words and been fascinated by them. When I ran out of books as I child, I started writing my own. (Voila! Look what came of that!) As for favorite writers, that’s tough, but here are just a few: Brock and Bodie Thoene, Francine Rivers, Patti Lacy, Athol Dickson, Jim Rubart, and Alan Paton, who wrote my favorite all-time fiction book, Cry the Beloved Country. That book changed my life and inspired my novel set in South Africa in 1989, No Greater Love. I also enjoy reading Brennan Manning, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, Oswald Chambers, and Max Lucado for nonfiction.

What’s on the horizon for you now, so far as future book projects?

I am currently finishing up the final book of the three-installment Freedom series (Deliver Me From Evil, Special Delivery, and The Deliverer). Then I will jump into my Christmas 2012 novel (working title is A Home For Christmas) and a novel called Last Chance for Justice, which is part of the multi-author Bloomfield Series with another publisher. After that I hope to get going on a new fiction series, which is still in the discussion/planning stages with my publisher and agent. So life is busy, but most contracts coming my way seem to be fiction right now. I am also keeping busy with very occasional editing projects and some speaking/teaching around the country.

Where can we find out more about you, The Freedom Series, and keep up with your to-be-released books?

Please feel free to visit my website at http://www.kathimacias.com/.

***I am giving a copy of A Christmas Journey Home to one of my readers. If you would like to enter to win please leave a comment and your email on this post. The winner will be randomly chosen and notified on Tuesday, October 18th.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speakers Services (ChristianSpeakersServices.com).

Church Diversity: A review

2011-06-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

"Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best over 45 years ago: "We must face the sad fact that at 11 o'clock on Sunday morning, when we stand to sing…we stand in the most segregated hour in America." What an unfortunate reality that many of us still face today! Have you heard the question, "is your church a white church or a black church?" No, it's God's church!"

The year was 1989 and the place was Detroit, MI. We’d been flailing in our attendance for a number of months when our friend, who was a worship leader at a dynamic inner city church, invited us to visit.

I really didn’t know what to expect having spent all of my life in mainline denominational churches.Visiting a non-denominational service piqued my interest. What could possibly be better than worshipping with friends? Those were some of the thoughts running through my mind the night before we attended our first service.

I remember white-knuckling the back of the seat in front of me during the worship. It was like nothing I’d ever seen or experienced before. The preaching was dynamic. By the end of the first service I was totally hooked and couldn't wait to go back.

We began attending regularly despite the fact that we were the only white couple in the congregation. Many of the people embraced us. A few gave us “family looks.” My husband was asked to serve as an usher. He was honored and took the position very seriously.

As time passed we felt that we had found a church home. Our feelings changed, however, one Saturday when at a men’s breakfast my husband was asked the question “Don’t they have any churches in your neighborhood.” To make matters worse the person who asked was the pastor. It suddenly became clear that we weren’t as welcome as we thought. We were devastated.

That was over two decades ago. By now you would think that with society embracing diversity at an ever increasing rate that this mindset would have impacted the church.

Which is why my reaction when picking up Scott Williams book Church Diversity and reading the subtitle "Sunday the most segregated day of the week" was one of shock and dismay.

I thought by now things had changed.

Scott says “We must face the sad fact that at the eleven o’clock hour on Sunday morning when we stand to sing, we stand in the most segregated hour in America…and the most segregated school is Sunday school.” He then goes on to provide adequate information to prove this fact which is very sad, indeed.

With a wealth of knowledge this former prison warden and Republican Party activist turned pastor strongly and systematically holds a “tough conversation” with the reader regarding the “white elephant in the pew” which is the lack of multi-ethnicity, in the church, and our passivity in dealing with it.

Scott Williams pulls no punches in dealing with the subject. His goal is not to point fingers but rather to speak the truth and elevate the conversation on a subject that is long overdue. He achieves this well. I really enjoyed Scott’s writing style. His down-to-earth approach takes nothing away from his authority on the subject. He had me from the start. Despite the severity of the issues presented within the pages I actually felt like doing a #fistbump on more than one occasion. (Those of you who tweet will totally get this.)

One of the things that make Church Diversity a great read for every believer, from leader to laity, is the magnitude of its scope. This is no hit and miss book. There is something for everyone. And not only does it peel back layers to reveal a glaring problem in the church, it also offers viable steps towards a solution. In many ways it also serves as a spiritual magnifying glass to assist the reader in examining their lives regarding the subject of diversity.

Some of the topics discussed include:

• Everything Starts with Leadership: Leading Beyond the Dream
• The Great Omission
• Corporate America Cares More Than the Church
• Churches Ahead of the Curve: Small Stories Shaping the Big Picture
• Diversity in Worship
• Back to the Basics: The ABCs of Church Diversity

I especially enjoyed the chapter on churches who have captured the vision for diversity and are already doing things to make a difference. Many of the people involved in those stories are people who I follow on Twitter. The ability to connect someone’s story to their social media “handle” or avatar can make a world of difference. It’s so good to know that not only are people talk about this issue they are taking intentional steps in the right direction.

There is so much good that I could say about this book. I feel that it is long overdue and sorely needed in the spiritual community. It is a great resource for helping believers gain proper perspective and skills for fostering true unity in the church. And by true unity I mean people of every tribe and nation worshipping together as one.

We know that this is the will of God and is what will take place in heaven. But I, along with a growing number of people, would like to see a little heaven on earth. Actually, I’d like to see a lot.

It’s possible if we’ll embrace the movement of Church Diversity with a willingness to do our part to facilitate change. I highly recommend that you read this book because, in the words of Scott Williams “the time is now and you are the change!”

About the author: Scott Williams served on staff as a key leader and campus pastor at LifeChurch.tv, one of the largest and most innovative churches in America. He is an effective speaker, strategist, ministry consultant, entrepreneur and popular social media influencer for pastors and ministries around the globe. He is an avid blogger at BigIsTheNewSmall.com. Scott is married, a father of two, and lives in Oklahoma City, OK. You can connect with him at churchdiversity.com or @ScottWilliams on Twitter.

Book video trailer:

[I was provided a copy of this book by New Leaf Publishing. The opinions shared are solely mine.]

Feeling squirrelly

2011-05-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

This was the view of the skies from our patio this evening.

Upon seeing it I couldn't help but relate to my new friend, Sherlock, who I met at the Nashville Zoo recently.

This spring's weather has me dreaming of life in a tropical paradise complete with...

We continue to uphold all those affected by the tornadoes and floods of 2011 in our prayers.

Silent Saturday

2011-04-23T12:44:00.000-07:00

In the Gospels very little is said about this day...the day after the crucifixion. Jesus’ body was quietly and quickly tucked away late on Friday afternoon so that the Jewish believers could keep the Sabbath holy. I've often wondered what took place on this "silent Saturday."

There are some things that we can surmise.
This was a day like none other for the followers of Christ. It followed a night when one of them had betrayed Him, and another had denied Him three times. Worse yet they had been present while their teacher, leader, and friend was cruelly put to death.

Reflecting on all that had happened since the day that Jesus had called them to be His disciples who knows what images flashed through their minds? I'm sure they experienced an array of thoughts and emotions.

When something tragic happens the moments surrounding the event seem to be seared into the human memory. There is no way to delete the scenes. They are forever etched in our minds. This most certainly was also true of the disciples. All that happened had to be playing like a movie over and over again.

Their hopes had been crushed. They were appalled at their behavior and the behavior of others. It is possible that they may have been on the run. Their lives were surely in danger. They probably feared they would be killed next. Perhaps it seemed a logical outcome.

This had to be a very dark day. But isn’t it always darkest before the dawn?

How fortunate that God's mind works very different from man's. With Him, when we repent, our sins become deleted scenes. While some of our sins never quite escape our memory He chooses to remember them no more.

Also, with God, there are no alternate endings. There is no need to try to figure out what the outcome of our lives will be. He remains steadfast and true to all that He has promised. Despite dark days the darkness always gives way to His incredible light.

As followers of Jesus, at times, our hearts echo the words of the psalmist in Psalm 143:1-12:

"Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. Don’t put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you. My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."

I can't help but wonder if the disciples did not feel this way on that day. We have to remember that they were unaware of what we know for certain as believers. No matter how the scenes of our individual lives play out there is NO alternate ending. The blood of Jesus secured our destiny and it will NEVER lose its power.

I'm so glad that "silent Saturday" was not the end of the story.

Sunday sealed the deal!

People of the Book tour kick-off featuring Kathi Macias

2011-04-21T22:39:00.000-07:00

Today I am featuring an interview with award winning author Kathi Macias. Her latest work, People of the Book, which is the fourth and final book in the Extreme Devotion series, is absolutely phenomenal. Each one of the books in this series set in a different country. I haven't read the first three books in the series but hope the publisher will offer them for the Kindle so I can do so soon. Hint, hint New Hope Publishers.

It is not very often that a Christian fiction book has the power to keep me up at night. People of the Book did more than that. It challenged my commitment to Christ and caused me to question just how far I would be willing to go to hold on to my relationship with Him in the face of trials and or persecution. I am still thinking about many things since reading this book. I'll share some of them as a part of my review in another post.

Please be sure you don't miss the important contest information tucked within this interview. You'll find out everything you need to know to win all four books in the series in this post. Good luck and enjoy!

Here is more from Kathi:

How is People of the Book different, and who/what inspired you to write this book?

People of the Book was the most difficult of the four Extreme Devotion series books to write, but it is also the strongest when it comes to a call to personal commitment to Christ and to the fulfillment of the Great Commission. With each of the books, I began drafting the manuscripts through Internet research, since I had never lived in any of the four countries and had only visited one of them. After the original draft, I worked with someone who either currently lived in the country or who had recently spent many years there.

People of the Book was the toughest because the Saudi women I connected with via the Internet were understandably apprehensive about associating with me. Most, in fact, were terrified to do so. I was therefore quite pleased to meet a young woman named Dolly Dahdal here in the States who, until just a few years ago, had spent the majority of her life in Saudi Arabia and understood perfectly why I had chosen to write this book. We shared a passion to help expose the fallacy of “honor killings,” a horrific crime perpetrated primarily against women and girls who in some way bring “dishonor” on their Muslim families, and Dolly was a major contributor to the authenticity of this book.

Can you give us a brief synopsis of this story?

Eighteen-year-old Farah, who lives in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, with her family, wants nothing more than to develop a deeper, more meaningful devotion to her Muslim faith. She sees the month of Ramadan as her chance to draw nearer to Allah, and she pursues that goal throughout the holiday. All goes well until the prophet Isa—Jesus—appears to her in a dream and calls her to Himself. At the same time, her only brother, Kareem, who has never liked Farah, actively seeks an opportunity to expose her for the sham he believes she is.

Meanwhile, Farah’s seventeen-year-old cousin, Nura, has begun to frequent an online chat room where former Muslims gather to discuss their new faith, based on their belief that Isa is much more than a Muslim prophet—He is actually the Son of God. While there, Nura becomes acquainted with an American girl of Muslim ancestry—now a devout Christian named Sara—and a friendship quickly develops. However, Sara has problems of her own due to her fifteen-year-old brother Emir’s involvement with a gang.

The lives of Farah, Nura, and Sara ultimately dovetail until each finds herself at a place where her faith is put to the test. Will they remain faithful to the end? Will God protect and keep them safe in the midst of persecution and treachery? Or will they be required to pay the ultimate price for their faith?

Kathi, how did you get into writing? Has it always been your passion, or is it something you came to later in life?

I’ve always wanted to write, for as long as I can remember. I was an avid reader even before I started kindergarten. I wrote a short story in third grade that the teacher liked so much she showed it to the principal, and they decided to turn it into a play for the entire PTA. I was hooked! One day when I was about 13, I was walking home from school with my then boyfriend (now husband), Al, and I told him I’d be a writer some day. He often reminds me how blessed I am to have been able to do what I dreamed of all my life.

I understand you’re running a special contest that has to do with this book. Can you tell us about it?

Not only are there several opportunities to win a copy of the book on various blog sites included in this tour, but I’m giving away the entire four-book series at the end of the tour to someone who leaves a comment on one of the blogs, so be sure to check them all out and leave comments on each one!

In addition to writing, you are a popular speaker at women’s event, writers’ conferences, and various venues around the country. How can people find out more about you, your writing and speaking, sign up for your weekly devotional newsletter (in English or Spanish), and/or just view your many book videos, etc.?

They can find me at one of my websites (http://www.kathimacias.com/; http://www.thetitus2women.com/) or on my Easy Writer blog at http://kathieasywritermacias.blogspot.com/. There is a “contact” button on my Kathi Macias website if they’d like to send me a message. I always respond to all my emails!

I hope that you have enjoyed this interview. Don't forget to visit the various sites involved with this tour and enter to win copies of Kathi's book. You can find out more about the tour on Facebook here and you can also leave a comment on this post to be included in a blog tour drawing for all 4 books in the series.

[I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services.

A walk in the park

2011-04-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

The room was black as night. I awoke alarmed, not by the clock but, because of the chill in the air. Shivering violently I rushed to grab my favorite robe glancing at the time on my way back to bed. It was almost 8:00 a.m. much to my surprise.

The day was here. An adventure about to begin. Pulling back the shade I was greeted by gray skies and billowy clouds. They seemed to threaten to spill torrential rains at any moment. "Go ahead" I said in a way that suggested the clouds might actually hear me. The wind seemed to speak back in a blustery voice. Its chilling reply unnerved me.

What a change in weather we had experienced over night. A sudden drop like this has the ability to stop me dead in my tracks. But there was no way that I would cave to the pain. I'd been waiting for a very long time for this day.

After reading the forecast I got dressed, grabbed my iPod, and layered a jacket over the top of my clothes. I grabbed an umbrella big enough for two wishing, all the while, for a "girlie" baseball cap. On a day like this it might come in handy.

My stomach churned as we headed out the door. What was I thinking? Will I be able to do this? How far can I go? Will it rain? What will the course be like? What if I fall? Am I crazy?

The brisk breeze snapped me out of the stormy thought cycle. After all what was the big deal? This was going to be quite an adventure for me but when I really thought about it, it was literally a "walk in the park" for most people.

But then again, I'm not most people.

That is what made this day so important to me. After 14 years in a cast I was finally out. To celebrate I'd decided to do something I'd only dreamed about. Participate in the MS Walk 2011. Not just because I have friends with MS but because I also have the disease. For weeks I had been excited but the threatening skies and dreary day were dampening my enthusiasm. They were also trying to rob me of my courage.

I prayed quietly to the Lord.

As we drove to Maury County Regional Park I debated about whether I should pursue the one mile or three mile course. I'm typically an all or nothing kind of person. I'd waited almost a decade and a half to do something like this. But the raindrops brought deliberation. Crutches and wet surfaces don't mix. I've already experienced this disastrous combination more times than I care to recall.

"Please Lord they're feeding hundreds of families at the church today. I really want to give MS a kick in the teeth. Stop the rain. Dry things up. Help."

We pulled into the park. There were cars all over the place. Someone was talking on a megaphone. I wasn't concerned that I might be missing something important. But I did pick up my pace because I was in a hurry to see where the starting line began. Crutching over to the pavilion I check in as quickly as possible unfocused on what was going on. My eyes darted back and forth looking for the starting place and the finish line. I found them to be one and the same.

It had been over a decade since we'd visited this park. A beautiful landscape tucked behind a high school it has it's share of small hills and valleys. For most they might go unnoticed but for me they are obvious. On crutches climbing a small hill is like scaling a mountain. The track they had laid out meant three laps around the mountain. It might as well have been Mt. Everest minus the snow.

I stood looking down at my hands. Before leaving I'd taken the time to write the names of those who had supported me with donations. It was my way of taking them with me. They and others were lifting up prayers for me. I'd need them to overcome the obstacles on this course--not to mention the bone chilling air.

We finally got started. There seemed to be a lot of young people walking. I stayed near the front of the pack and off to the side of the track. The rain had stopped which meant the pavement was drying but the grass remained wet. One wrong move could spell disaster for me. I moved along carefully at a quick pace.

As we turned a corner and headed up a hill my left shoe, which fits poorly on my deformed foot, began to twist around. If I slowed down there was a possibility that I wouldn't have the momentum to make it to the top. If I kept going at that pace I might loss my shoe. I found myself mentally telling the shoe good-bye as I increased my speed. There was no way that I was quitting. Shoe or no shoe, I was going forward.

It was a long uphill battle. While struggling I reminded myself that what goes up must come down. For most people that would be a welcome relief. For a person on crutches going downhill is even more dangerous. I prepared myself to throw the metal sticks out further in front of me at the first sensation of decline. It came more quickly then I hoped but I was ready.

Rounding the bend as part of a fairly large group my husband continued to walk behind me to insure my safety. About a dozen people were in front of me. I could see them receiving medals as they crossed the finish line. I remarked to my husband that they most have been the one milers. He asked how I was doing.

The very same question was on my mind. How was I doing? Was a jamming up things or keeping up with other people. He said that I had completed the first mile in about ten minutes. Elation mixed with determination provided enough steam to keep going. Three times across the finish line added up to three miles. For most a walk in the park but for me a marathon. A marathon with a mission to stomp out MS.

I've received a few diplomas over the years. Somewhere there is a trophy collecting dust. In my office an award hangs on the wall. All of these represent significant milestones in my life. Yet I'm not sure any compare with the small medal which I received for completing this course. It might as well have been made out of gold. I cherish it that much.

It was a dream come true.

A walk in the park.

An adventure.

This post is part of the One Word at A Time carnival. For more details on how to join click here.

Embracing the present

2011-04-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

As the journey, which I spoke about in my previous post Casting off the past, continued I saw the neurologist occasionally for other issues plaguing me. The subject of MS would come up every now and then. I would always quickly dismiss it. That is until 2005 when I began suffering from frequent blackouts. It was then that a new batch of tests revealed diffused lesions throughout my nervous system. This is one of the classic signs of MS. Of course there are many others. A list of symptoms can be found here.

I was told that I would need to make major lifestyle changes. One of the most important areas to manage would be stress. It’s okay. I laughed, too. It’s easier said than done. I was advised to consider leaving “the ministry” or modifying my involvement.

I chose not to leave ministry but rather to pursue additional education so that, in the future if necessary, I could minister from home. My insurance provided me with a custom wheelchair and scooter. I’ve been told to use them to help prevent pain, fatigue, etc. I loan them out as much as possible (just out of stubbornness, I guess).

Crutches have been my primary means of transportation for nearly 15 years. I’m faster on them than off them. At one time I thought little about the wear and tear that takes place from getting around this way. However, it began to take its toll a few years ago. I’d also grown aware that every day spent in the cast was washing my bones out, not to mention, locking them up. That's never good.

After searching for an alternative, and finding nothing that would accommodate my twisted limb, I decided to take off the cast. I was told this would never be possible. I’d be in a cast “for life.” There was a huge risk involved but my decision was prayerfully made.

It helped that I was in a bi-valved cast, for a change, while recovering from a fractured femur. What can I say? I like climbing on things. A split cast meant that I didn't have to saw the thing off and could put it back on if necessary.

With that in mind, on a hot summer day in 2010, I spent a few hours without the cast. Hours that turned into days, and weeks, and months. The amazing thing is that nearly a year later I remain infection free. That is nothing short of a miracle. I thank God for His healing touch.

I snapped this picture at the beach on my first day without a cast. How wonderful to feel the sand between my toes.

I continue to seek His guidance while dealing with the crippling affects of being immobilized for so many years. It will require divine intervention and a skilled surgeon to help me. I’m out of a cast but won’t be out of the woods until I can plant both feet flat on the floor and bend both knees. I’d like to do that soon. I’ve got marathons to run and mountains to climb. If you would please say a prayer about this. Thanks.

I must say, I’ve enjoy not having to lug seven pounds of fiberglass around. It has given me some freedom. It has also given me more time to think about MS. Especially since I am experiencing more symptoms as time goes by.

Until a few years ago I remained in denial. Slowly I have been working my way to a place of education and awareness about this devastating disease. Not just for myself but for many of my friends who suffer far more than I do.

Recently I saw a commercial for the 2011 MS Walk. I’ve never considered participating before. Dragging a cast around on crutches for miles never seemed to fit the definition of “walking.” But this year my situation is different.

I’ve shed the cast. I’m in a pair of shoes, although only one foot hits the floor fully, so I am without excuse. Besides I can’t think of a better way to celebrate what God has done and is doing in my life. Not to mention the fact that I'll be walking with my husband.

Together, this Saturday, we’ll be casting off on a three mile walk to raise awareness and funds for continued research for MS. Some of you have very generously given to help my team “Melinda’s Mission” meet the goal of raising $200. I can’t thank you enough. Most of you have never met me but I will carry you close to my heart during this event. Your support is my encouragement. God will be my strength. Please pray that I will crutch to the finish line.

And above all else pray for a cure. People's lives depend upon it.

PS: If you would like to make a donation to my team you can do so here.

Casting off the past

2011-04-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

The year was 1999 and I remember it as if it were yesterday. My attending physician, a neurologist, burst into my room and loudly proclaimed “I think you have MS. We’ll need to run some tests to confirm it.”

To be honest, I didn’t know much about MS. Quite frankly, I didn’t care. My focus was on my swollen leg which was a whale of a situation that had brought more than one doctor to their wits end.

The tests for MS were inconclusive at the time and my concentration remained on the treatment plan to try to save my infection riddled leg. It looked like something that belonged on an elephant. Not a 110 pound woman. And yes, it was painful.

It's hard to believe that after hundreds of days in the hospital, several dozen trips to the operating room, along with years of intravenous drugs and physical therapy my leg was in this kind of condition. It was devastating. But God gave me the strength to keep going.

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." II Corinthians 2:9 NLT

It had already been three years since this nightmare, which began with two blistered toes, had robbed me of the ability to walk and wear a pair of shoes. Despite being diagnosed and treated, misdiagnosed and mistreated, there seemed to be no end to this illness which wreaked havoc on me and my family. Yet our hope remained locked like a laser on the simple truth that God had a plan to use this situation for the good. And even more certainly, that He was using it to conform me into the image of Christ.

"That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son." Romans 8:28-29 The Message

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:4 The Message

I can't say that sixty five days of inpatient therapy always seemed like a sheer gift but it brought with it a wonderful discovery. There was an effective treatment--compression. It was very painful and time consuming but it worked. My leg gradually returned to normal size. One year and six surgeries later both feet were flat on the floor. With a little more time there was every reason to believe that I would be cured. I was excited and never gave MS another thought, at least not for a few years.

My recovery came to a screeching halt, however, when I tripped on the pavement and ruptured my Achilles’ tendon. My foot and leg swelled up with a vengeance. Infection quickly reared its ugly head, too. In and out of the hospitals became almost a way of life. Along with that came additional years of intravenous antibiotics which I administered at home during the “better times.”

PICC line in right arm, cast on left leg

The lymphatic treatments, which had been helpful before, no longer did the trick. It seemed the only way to control the problem was by keeping my leg in a cast. Thus a long leg cast became a part of my regular attire. It eventually allowed me to become infection free.

But the journey was far from over. For the rest of the story click here.

Sunday Scripture-Hiding

2011-04-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

"You are a hiding place for me; You, Lord, preserve me from trouble, You surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!" Psalm 32:7 Amplified Bible

Sunday Scripture-Wait

2011-04-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

"Can the no-gods of the godless nations cause rain? Can the sky water the earth by itself?

You're the one, O God, who does this. So you're the one for whom

we wait. You made it all, you do it all."

Jeremiah 14:22 The Message

And God Cried

2011-03-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Life seemed to be an all-encompassing storm
Through loss upon loss from my heart hope was torn
Crisis begat crisis time and time again
Each day a new problem without any end

Dark clouds settled over my head
I felt less alive then someone physically dead

In anguish I cried out to the Father above

He lovingly reached down with His strong arms of love

Picking me up in response to my cry
So gentle came the answer from the Most High

Hanging my head in shame

I despising both my condition and the pain

Yet closed my eyes to rest
Cradled closely to His breast

His gentle arms brought such peace

I seemed to slowly drift off to sleep

Soon I was awakened by a drop
Then came another and they did not stop

Again a drop and then some more
And soon a steady downpour
"What is this?" I said

As the droplets soaked my head

My eyes began to look around
Nothing but dark clouds could be found
Until a steady piercing light
Began to shine ever so bright

Suddenly I felt His glory all around
"Why does this rain not fall to the ground?"
Drip, drop it fell upon me
I began to look up in curiosity

His Glory did shine with awesome wonder
It was more jolting then the most deafening thunder
But the sight I beheld was more glorious to see
I saw the tears of God falling down upon me

Tears streaming down from His cheek
These precious words He did speak
"My little lamb I love you
When you hurt, I cry too."

"When his people pray for help, he listens and rescues them from their troubles. The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope." Psalm 34:17-18 CEV

Sunday Scripture

2011-03-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

"God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name. Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you; toddlers shout the songs that drown out enemy talk, and silence atheist babble.

I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, moon and stars mounted in their settings.

Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way?

Yet we've so narrowly missed being gods, bright with Eden's dawn light. You put us in charge of your handcrafted world, repeated to us your Genesis-charge, made us lords of sheep and cattle, even animals out in the wild, birds flying and fish swimming, whales singing in the ocean deeps.

God, brilliant Lord, your name echoes around the world. " Psalm 8 The Message

When violence hits home

2011-03-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

For six days it laid, submerged in water, inside our washing machine. I'd put it in to soak after promising to work wonders using my many years of laundering skills. Afterall, it is his favorite shirt. Our son, that is.

A mixture of mud, blood, and grass stains eclipsed the once crisp clean blue checked cotton material. I've laundered all of those things out in the past. Just never all at once.

Soaking seemed to be a good place to start. In addition to helping to loosen the stains it provided a quick way to get the soiled shirt out of our sight. I'd forgotten it was there until I began my pre-weekend housework.

Throwing open the lid to put in a load of clothes I peered down at the murky water. In many ways it reflected my feelings. Cloudy, dim, and dark. As I spun out the shirt and pulled it closer for examination my senses unexpectedly reeled.

And I remembered.

The stains were not the result of an impromptu game of soccer or some late-night ultimate freesbie. They were evidence of a brutal attack on our, one and only, son. The assailants whose names I'll never know apparently had one motive.

Greed.

What did greed get them? Eight dollars and a Skagen wristwatch. What could it have gotten them? A lifetime in prison. After being beaten and left for dead, in fridged temperatures, our son came away with his life. But the outcome could have been very different. We know that and pray that whoever hurt our son will stop before a worse tragedy occurs.

Sin is only pleasant for a season. In the end it brings death.

The skin on my fingers wrinkle from trying to scrub away the powerful reminders of pain. How long do I repeat the process before giving up? Even if the stains wash out it is hard to imagine how much time would need to pass before seeing this shirt would fail to provoke unpleasant memories ellicting feelings of indescribable pain.

If I could put things back to the way they were before. Replace what was taken. Repair what was broken. What would I do about the pain running deep within? His pain. Our pain. The pain of family and friends who wonder why these kinds of things happen.

How long will the memories linger?

How long will we hurt?

How long before God stops those bent on harming others?

How long until I can lay my head down to rest at night without reliving this ordeal?

How long until our son is whole?

These questions have plagued my mind. I imagine that they are as common as a cold when your offspring is harmed. The larger the threat the stronger the reaction, I suppose. The more harm done the more questions.

What about God?

Did He feel the same kind of pain when His Son was beaten, mocked, and murdered. Whether for greed or some other form of gain sin is still sin. It motivates all manners of evil. Someone once said that it was love that kept Jesus on the cross. Agreed. Yet we must never forget that sin put Him there.

My sin.

Your sin.

The sin of thugs running the streets of the inner city.

Yet "Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice."

Forgive them?

I'd much rather forgive a friend ,who unknowingly hurt my feelings, then those who violently attacked our son.

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matt 6:14-15

"God, You have no idea what You are asking of me. I'm not ready to do this."

And then I remember Calvary.

And the night Jesus spent in the garden agonizing over the blood that He would soon spill to redeem all mankind once and for all. When he cried "Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Suddenly I'm in my own Garden of Gethsemane. The pain is palpable. The struggle intense. I realize that in order to accomplish the will of God that I, too, must die. To the fears, to the frustration, to the anger, and to the right to understand. I must crush the negative emotions which seek to give birth to sin.

The sin of unforgiveness.

A part of me wants Abba Father to take this cup away. To allow me the luxury of deciding for myself. Yet the best of me realizes that the worst of me might not make the right choice. That would end far more tragically then this wrong done to our son.

It would end in bitterness.

"Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it. Bitterness paralyzes life; love empowers it. Bitterness sours life; love sweetens it. Bitterness sickens life; love heals it. Bitterness blinds life; love anoints its eyes." Harry Fosdick

Making yet another attempt to remove the stain from this shirt prayers raise from desperate lips revealing a needy heart. A heart that desires to be more like Jesus but falls so short, especially in this moment.

I need to be willing to die, so that I can forgive.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

Five Bible Verses About Money Every Christian Should Know

2011-02-22T10:39:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of blog post reading this week. I typically leave comments to let the writers know I've visited but I'm pretty sure they get tired of hearing from me, so I've been tweeting the posts insted.

While visiting Christian Personal Financial's blog I found this post and wanted to share it with you. http://christianpf.com/5-bible-verses-about-money-every-christian-should-know/

There are many other good posts there as well. Take a few moments to look around. I'm certainly rethinking a lot of things since my visit there.

Essentials of the Heart

2011-02-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

Today, I have the pleasure of featuring an interview with Susan Weagant, author of the book Essentials of the Heart.

Susan and her husband Ben, and two sons, are missionaries in the Christian Camping Ministry. She has been teaching women's Bible studies for over a decade and is currently involved with Stonecroft Ministries, MOPS, Women’s retreats, and a women’s community Bible study. Susan has a passion for teaching God’s Word in a way which allows her to also share her heart and enjoys the one on one relationships that come as a result of her ministry.

Her book, Essentials of the Heart springs from a desire to see all Christ followers experience a passionate walk with God. Here is a little more information:

Are you tired of playing hit and miss with your spiritual life?
Are you looking for a more purposeful and committed walk with the Lord?
Do you ever feel so broken that there seems to be no hope?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, Essentials of the Heart is for you. This thought-provoking book is full of personal examples and peppered with Scripture. Susan Weagant takes you from life-changing decisions to daily disciplines necessary for a passionate spiritual walk, using personal examples from her own past as encouragement. Join Susan on this spiritual journey to find out what decisions and disciplines are Essentials of the Heart.

And now more from the author in this Q & A interview...

Susan, you and your husband serve as Christian Camp missionaries. Share with us how this ministry-focus came about and how it influenced the writing of your book.

My husband and I have been missionary supported at Camp Peniel since 1992. The word Peniel comes from the Bible in Genesis 32:30 where Jacob wrestled with an angel. He named that place Peniel because he said that he had seen God face to face and his life had been preserved.

The man who started Camp Peniel had a desire that anyone who came would experience God face to face, either by coming to know Him as their Savior or growing in their walk with Him.

Many spiritual turning points in my life happened at Camp Peniel. Decisions that impacted my spiritual life the most were made at that place. Those decisions and disciplines that I learned there are what has influenced my book the most. It is for that reason that a portion of the proceeds will go to Camp Peniel’s scholarship program.

I understand Essentials of the Heart is blessing both men and women. Did you consider the impact it would have on men when you wrote it? What are they saying about it?

I was blindsided by this one. I speak to women’s ministries; so, my audience is women. One day my friend came to me to apologize for not reading my book that she got a month earlier. I told her that she didn’t need to apologize for that, but she insisted to tell me why.

Her husband had picked up the book and started reading it. She did not want to take it from him until he was finished, but it was taking a long time. (It is a small book so it shouldn’t take him that long.) He finally came to her and told her to go buy two more books because he wanted to give them to his adult sons for Christmas.

I was floored that he would enjoy it so much that he would want his adult sons to read it, too.

Essentials of the Heart is divided into two parts, Decisions and Disciplines. What is the significance of this?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time; He also has planted eternity in men’s heart and mind [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun, but only God, can satisfy]…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11, AMP)

What that means to you and me is this: God created us with a sense of eternity in our hearts and mind. We know that there is more to this life than the here and now. We sense it deep within us. The only thing that can bring lasting fulfillment to you and me is our relationship with God and growing in that relationship. That is what has brought me the greatest fulfillment in my life, and it starts with heart “Decisions”, which is the first section of the book. The next section is “Disciplines”. These are daily practices, which are necessary to grow in the Lord.

So the first Essential of the Heart is the decision we make personally for eternity … accepting Christ as our Savior. You list several more Decisions we need to make such as: Who do we want our life to count for, a Decision to Trust, a Decision to Build Intimacy, etc.

I’d like for us to look at the issue of Trust. You explain though we often use the words trust and faith interchangeably, we first need to understand what they mean. Could you shed some light on this?

The word trust, according to Webster’s Dictionary, is an assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Faith according to the Bible is this: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1, KJV). The Greek word for faith in the New Testament is pistis, which is a firm persuasion or conviction based on hearing according to Strong’s Dictionary.

If you look at all the definitions, that will give you a better picture of faith. It is important what you base your hope on in this life. Here is my definition of faith. Faith is a firm conviction of hope based on God’s character, God’s ability, God’s strength, and God’s truth when I can’t see what lies ahead. When I base my hope on God’s character and God’s Word, it is then that my faith will grow.

If someone would like to have you speak at their event, how can they contact you?

They can go to my website, SusanWeagant.com, for information on my speaking ministry.

I know your book is blessing individuals. Can Essentials of the Heart be used for a group study?

There is a pdf file of study questions for each chapter on my website and it is free to download.

To find out how you can purchase a copy of Essentials of the Heart by viewing this book trailer:

I hope that you enjoyed this interview and will go over to Susan's website where you'll find more information on "Essentials of the Heart" as well as the free downloadable study guide for group use.

Also, stop over at the Christian Speaker Services blog and enter their contest to win a free copy of the book.

[I was given a complimentary copy of this book from the author in exchange for posting the author's interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services.]

Learned helplessness

2011-01-20T13:22:00.000-08:00

A woman lies in bed praying that the intense throbbing inside her head will subside. Hours pass slowly in a darkened room.

"This can't last forever."

Days come and go. The pounding, like a steady sledge hammer, rhythmically continues. Weakness begins to set in. Moving a single muscle provokes ravaging pain. Each movement likened to lifting a hundred pound barbell. Strength drains out, with every breath, as dehydration from ongoing nausea wreaks havoc on the body's system.

"This can't last forever."

A loving mate appears in the shadows of the darkened room to assist with the necessities of life. "Just put your arms around my neck. I'll carry you." She tries but fails as her right arm falls with a thud exhausted from the effort.

"This can't last forever."

A call is placed. The decision made. A trip to the emergency room is in order. Pajamas seem fine, on this occasion. Who has the energy to primp? Besides, it'll be in and out. These headaches are treatable.

"This can't last forever."

Medications are administered, tests are run. The specialist is called. A diagnosis is established. The patient is taken to a room. By then her left side shows no signs of life. Paralysis has taken hold.

"This can't last forever."

Life becomes a waiting game as drops flow from the intravenous medications and flood the body to do their work. Hushed voices whisper prayers. A verbally silent patient reminds God of His promises in her mind.

"This can't last forever."

Day in day out the swish of white coats become routine. Reflexes are checked, medications are tweaked. The woman attempts to drink from a sippy cup with her non-dominate hand. Booties are placed on her feet to avoid bed blisters. A kind care-giver tirelessly works to keep her comfortable and clean. People stop by to visit. A hospital employee gives an impromptu gospel concert. It sounds like the music of heaven despite the raging pain.

"This can't last forever."

On the tenth morning she awakens. Her extremities are buzzing. Something is happening. There is a change. A spark of reflex is returning. Hope rises on the wings of a situation that has left a poor soul helpless and totally reliant on others for everything except the breath of life.

"This can't last forever."

Soon she takes her first steps. It's been weeks. Weakened muscles will need to be retrained. The sippy cup is exchanged for a glass. The booties, for a pair of socks. The rate of the pain medication is slowed. The fog begins to lift.

"This can't last forever."

And it doesn't.

As I recalled this situation, which took place in my life a few years ago, I remembered the overwhelming peace that I felt throughout those difficult days. Unable to lift my head, or do anything for myself, I knew that I was helpless.

Yet in truth we are all helpless apart from the power of God who sustains life and works His good will in and through us. Problems surface when we forget this important truth. When we fail to see ourselves as God does. He knows that we are totally dependent on Him. We need to learn the extent of our helplessness so that we will completely trust in God.

Andrew Murray speaks of this in his book Absolute Surrender which includes the prayer "Let my life be a proof of what an omnipotent God can do."

What. A. Prayer.

I like what author Mary Pierce has to say on the subject "When we pray 'let my life be a proof of what an omnipotent God can do,' our lives begin to be a proof, not of who we are or what we can do, but a proof of what God can do. God can take the petty and the puny, the weak and the wimpy, the half-baked and the completely fried, and He can do something wonderful. How? Not because we have anything to offer, but because God is able to do so much with so little."

Andrew Murray says that our response to the recognized presence of the omnipotent God in our lives will be "deep helplessness and simple childlike rest." A rest like I experienced while lying in that hospital bed knowing, that apart from God, I was helpless to ever move again.

When I did move all who witnessed it knew it had not come at the hands of man or even medication. God's power was revealed. My life was a proof "of what an omnipotent God can do."

No no enjoys the sensation of being helpless. For some the concept of "learned helplessness" implies feigned weakness. But there is a "learned helplessness" that brings strength to the weary heart. No longer wrestling with the daunting task of rescuing ourselves we are able to rest in God.

Lord, help us to learn that apart from you we are helpless. And may our lives be a proof of what an omnipotent God can do!

Helpless is never hopeless when the all-powerful God is in control.

Lifelines aren't always long

2011-01-14T17:51:00.000-08:00

I'm not really much of a blogger. I've tried to be but, in all honesty, I'm long winded. Finding a way to communicate my thoughts in a manner which is short and concise just doesn't seem to be part of my natural make-up. I am a teacher. Teachers talk and also use words to provoke others to share.

Many of the people that I know just write blogs. They don't take the time to read others. I'm not someone who just writes blogs. I also enjoy reading them. Most of the time I leave comments. It only seems polite. Besides offering encouragement is a part of my make-up. It is something that I find easy to do. When people bear their souls it takes courage. I like to let them know that I appreciate what they've said.

Over the past few weeks I've been doing a lot of contemplating. During my time spent with God I've been asking Him about His plan for my year. I'm still waiting for answers, of course. All in His time.

I've also been asking God if I should continue to blog. There are so many great bloggers out there. I'm mindful of this because I read their posts on a daily basis. They are refreshing, challenging, and inspiring. Sometimes reading such great posts can be intimidating. How can we, who don't possess the "gift of gab" possibly make a difference online? What's the point? Is it all just a waste of our time?

I had been thinking that perhaps my gifts and time might be better utilized elsewhere. Just today, I was thinking that perhaps my days on social networks are winding down. I've been off them for 14 days and very few people have noticed. Perhaps I am just taking up space and wasting time. Can someone really make a difference in 140 characters or less? I had thought so but was beginning to question that. Until I read a post by some friends which gave me pause...and a case of the what ifs.

What if someone does drop by and reads something amongst my ramblings that grabs their heart? What if just a few words that I've said makes the difference for them on any given day? What if somehow God gives me just the right phrase to rescue them from a sea of discouragement or despair?

And what if I fail to write it because my words don't seem eloquent enough or powerful enough. Or my posts seem too long or too short?

The key is to be led by God in all that we do. It is His Spirit that empowers us to touch people's lives. Often times we don't realize what we have done or how He has used us. And many times it happens with a very small number of words.

I hope that you will stop by to read 100 three-word power posts to share online via @stickyJesus (Tami Heim & Toni Birdsong). You will be inspired.

It has made me realize that lifelines aren't always long. There is something to be said for the strength of the rope and the proper tying of the knot.

Don't be intimidated by what others are doing or not doing online these days. Just be who you are in Christ. He'll take care of the rest...one word, two words, or even three words at a time!

Nursing a dream

2011-01-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

I've nursed many things over the course of my life. Some have actually been people like my son, husband, or another family member or friend. At times, I've nursed myself back to health with long seasons spent administering intravenous antibiotics. I don't missing those days, months, and years. They were a lot of work.

There have been occasions where I have nursed grudges before graciously letting go. Other times when I've nursed hurts while the Holy Spirit administered healing. Sometimes the hurts belonged to others. At other times they were my own.

Currently I am nursing a dream. This is actually new territory for me. Don't get me wrong. I've had many dreams. God has even allowed some to come true for which I am very thankful. Yet this is the first time that I recall actually having to nurse a dream.

On Christmas Eve I had an amazing dream. When I awoke the dream was still very vivid and I felt extremely hopeful. Perhaps more hopeful, regarding a particular situation, then I had in quite a number of years.

For the past 14 years I've been living life wearing one shoe and walking on crutches. The other foot and leg have been encased in fiberglass, for reasons I won't go into at this time. A few months ago I took off the long-leg cast and began to relearn to walk. This was my first Christmas since our son was 6 years old that I have worn a pair of shoes. My husband & I didn't exchange gifts this year. Who needs gifts when you finally can wear a pair of shoes?!?!

Yet there are issues remaining with my leg. Obviously there's a whole lot more to this story. The cast seems to have done what was needed but it has also done a lot of damage. My foot won't go flat on the floor. There is no movement in the ankle. So essentially I am still disabled.

That is what makes the dream so important. In it a man, who appeared to be a doctor, approached my bedside. He told me that he had seen all that I'd done to get out of the cast. Trust me when I say that it's been some of the hardest work I've ever done. He also said that I had gone as far as I could go, on my own, and that he and his colleagues would be taking over from this point. They would do all that was necessary to get me walking normally again.

And then I woke up.

I felt strangely encouraged as if I'd just received an intravenous dose of faith. When I walked in the door at my Mom's house to begin our Christmas celebration the first thing that I shared was the dream. It was still so real to me. Throughout the day I couldn't help it. My mind kept revisiting it time and time again.

And then it happened.

Later that afternoon as I was descending from a stool, at my Mom's island, my foot landed oddly. Had my ankle had the ability to twist it would have. My Mom looked on in horror as I corrected my gait. At the time I didn't feel much of anything. By the next morning there was some swelling and discolored areas around the ankle. After taking it easy for a day or two it felt better.

And then I made a bad decision.

A few days later I decided to go and walk at the local recreation center. Over the past few months I'd pushed myself to walk hundreds of laps around that little indoor track. It is a safe place where people can walk at their own pace.

Things started off fine. There was no pain in my foot. Strolling along with my iPod blasting in my ears all was going well. Then suddenly my knee locked up. I was on the far side of the track so I stopped for a few minutes. It's amazing how much you can pray in a short time when the possibility for extreme humiliation is at stake. I had to get around the track. God helped me and while finishing out the lap the knee felt better so I pumped out a few more rounds.

And then I regretted it.

As my husband and I left the building my body began to rebel. My knee went into full lock-up mode every time that I bent it. Needless to say you have to bend a joint to use it. Once we made it to the walkway all dignity left me. The pain was so intense that I let out a yell. My neighbors probably heard it. My husband helped me get to the car and then to the couch. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was benched for the night. Basically I've been benched every since.

And then I started nursing my dream.

It seemed in need of resuscitation. I've been nursing it every since daily because in all of the years of this physical struggle I've had only two dreams related to my leg. Both have been significanct to me. I'm not exactly sure just what to make of this one but I can't shake the dream.

And truthfully, I don't want to.

Dreams are important. We need them in order to have hope. Sometimes things happen to try to steal them away. Other times we allow them to die. All of us need dreams to keep us going.

"We grow by dreams. All big men are big dreamers. Some of us let dreams die, but others nourish and protect them, nurse them through bad days...to the sunshine and light which always comes." Woodrow Wilson

I want the dream to live on inside of me until it becomes a part of my destiny. It elevated my faith. It made me more hopeful. So despite the fact that it appears that the very opposite of what I dreamed is occurring I'm going to continue to nourish this dream.

Why? Because, I believe that I am meant to walk again. I also believe that God has a plan. It is far past anything that my mind could conceive. It will happen in His time. In the meantime, while I wait on Him--I'm nursing this dream. His Word is the medicine that I am applying along with a whole lot of prayer.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jer 29:11 The Message

Have you ever nursed a dream?

Is it possible that you are holding on to a promise from God right now but find yourself in a struggle?

What do you do to maintain your dreams until they become destiny?

Come and dine

2011-01-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

Several weeks ago God began to deal with me about taking a break from social networks. Other than the fact that it would include a period of no less than 21 days I received very little information regarding what might expected.

All this left me a bit unsettled. I am a person who likes to have a plan. I also enjoy the sense of satisfaction that comes with setting and reaching goals. I like to know what is expected of me. In short, I am a bit of a control freak. Because of this I sought God, in the days leading up to my targeted date, for more details. Each time I came up empty. I found the silence to be unnerving.

A few days ago it seemed only right to let my friends on Facebook and Twitter know that I would be taking time off. Several people had concerns and contacted me privately. A few questioned the validity of what they began calling this "fast." That actually proved to be helpful as it caused me to return to God for additional confirmation. He quickly provided it. I hoped that a plan would unfold but it didn't. All I could come up with was 21 days.

Last night I logged out of my social network accounts. I can't say that it felt good. It's hard to have a sense of anticipation when you don't know what to expect. At least that is how things work for me. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. While I did operate in obedience, perhaps that did not include much faith.

Within a few hours I began to realize how frequently I use Facebook and Twitter as distractions for pain and insomnia. It only took a few more hours more to come to the conclusion that if God did not show up during these 21 days that this break would quickly turn into a "fast" that would be slow to pass and very painful. In the middle of the night I found myself praying some desperate prayers.

This morning I slept in. On a typical day I read from several devotional books and then move on to my inbox for more. Today I was unsure of where to begin. I picked up my copy of Jesus Calling to see where it might lead. I read it, re-read it and then took time to ponder it. Afterwards I discussed one sentence with my husband. Then I grabbed a journal. My plan was to write the statement down for future reference.

That's about the time that it happened. Call it manna from heaven or a feast fit for a queen. All I know is that four pages into the entry it dawned on me that it would probably be better if I typed things in my digital journal for the remaining 20 days. God had shown up in a big way and answered many of the questions that had plagued me in the days leading up to this break. What a difference a day and a single act of obedience can make.

What might have been a fast, without His Presence, had quickly become a feast. It was very hard for me to push away from the table and I can't wait to go back for more--and more--and more. The greatest part about this meal is that all that I have to do is show up. He has prepared a table before me, and only asks that I accept the invitation to come and dine with Him.

That is an offer that is simply to good to refuse. I have a feeling that God has an invitation with your name on it as well. It might not involve a 21 course meal but, whatever the case, I hope you will consider taking Him up on the invite.

Oh and let me be the first to say, just in case you are wondering, that the food is out of this world.

Heaven on earth--don't settle for status quo

2010-12-23T11:27:00.000-08:00

Today I have the honor of introducing to you a friend, and fellow writer, Cornell Ngare. Cornell hails from Kenya. Our paths initially crossed on Twitter as his tweets resonated in my spirit. Later we connected on Facebook. His posts continue to provoke a great deal of thought for me.

Some months ago I was blessed with the opportunity to take a peek at some of his writings. What an experience it was. He is an outstanding wordsmith, whose pen is directed by the Spirit of God. I am still blown away by what I read.

Recently I invited him to be a guest on this blog. This is my first time featuring someone else's work. I can't think of another person that I would rather have as my first guest. By the time you are done reading his post, I believe that you will agree. It's not warm and fuzzy--more like full of fire. Please feel free to leave him comments here, or at his places on the web which I have included at the end of this post.

My thanks to Cornell for sharing his gift and his passion for God.

Heaven on earth (Don't settle for status quo)

Broken hearts, shattered dreams, tainted vision. This threefold list is a famous tear-jerker. Its siblings include miss Disappointment and Mr. Discouragement. You are definitely familiar with this family. Actually, your heart knows them better, they live there. You have heard enough of hurting words to know that they don’t break ear-drums, they break hearts. You have read enough bad news to know it doesn’t look bad on a page; it looks ugly in a heart. You know what it’s like to have a promise broken, a dream shattered and a spirit speared. Yes, our hearts are experienced pin cushions when it comes to pain points.

Yet, that’s life. That’s what makes living, living. That’s society’s definition of normal. “The pain is part of the package,” we’ve been told. “No pain, no gain,” we quote and quip. But is that true? Is life is just a series of bad things punctuated by “happy” moments? Is despair our default mode? As much as we would like to answer “No” to such questions, experience has taught us better. Look at our society. We celebrate smiles. We calendar mark and calorie map our happy moments; birthdays, promotions, Christmases and other random moments of joy. Our hearts skip a beat in times of sudden joy. What about hours of sudden grief? Do hearts skip beats or slow down then? No. They beat the same… same rhythm… same fashion. The only thing that varies is the weight of the heart, depending on the weight of the hurt.

So, what do we do now? Do we settle for this? Is this destiny, to dance with despair? Will the rest of our lives be solely composed of making it less painful, less stressful and a little more bashful? Is home where our HURT is? Or is there more? Difficult questions, these ones. Ugly questions, even. Oh, the number of times we’ve asked them. We’ve posed them so much that we’ve decided to pause them. We no longer question pain. We’re no longer shocked by grief. Our hearts have become numb to our hurts. We have attained master’s degrees on stress management and numbing pain. Yes, we have learnt to live with less joy, less justice… and less Jesus.

Yes. Less Jesus. We love to hate Him. It’s so much easier that way, or so we think. Our society has brought us up believing in the light at the “end” of the tunnel. But Jesus comes and offers us a light “in” the tunnel, whether or not the end is in sight. Life has taught us to brace storms, curse injustice and nurse wounds as we wait for calm seas. But Jesus offers us a savior in the midst of the storm, hope in the midst of despair, healing in the midst of death. Jesus lets the storm rage, the war wage and the only comforting words He leaves us with are, “Why are you so afraid?” and “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Mark 4:40, Matt 28:20)

Our hearts want to shout to the former, “Too late, Jesus. We’re already sinking in fright!” and to the latter words we respond arrogantly, “We don’t want you to be with us, we want you to take us out of here!” What’s the point of joining me in a fire if your purpose is to save me from the fire? The worst idea you could ever have in trying to save a drowning man is suggesting he scoot over in that deep well. But apparently, Jesus doesn’t think so. He’s been known to waltz through fiery furnaces and sleep in storm-tossed boats. Even more disturbing is what he says about suffering to believers, “And YOU will be objects of hatred by all people on account of my name.” (Matt 10:22) That’s so encouraging Jesus. Don’t wait up, I’ll find my own way out. We often want to say, and apparently we mean it. We find ourselves backsliding and sin-kissing before we know it. The Holy way is not the only way, there’s a wholly different option. One with “less pain”, and we make that our default mode.

And that’s the problem. We’ve let The Fault mode to be our default mode. We’ve settled for sin, and it’s been downhill ever since. Yet Jesus offers us, not hope for the moment alone (which we’d much rather settle for) but hope for eternity. While we struggle and fight to understand and unwrap the present, Jesus has His eyes set on our future. While we battle with scales of myopia, Jesus is tilting the scales of life and death. And He does want to give us life, abundant life, eternal life. Will you receive it this Christmas? Will you receive Him this Christmas? You don’t have to settle for earth. You weren’t made to. You weren’t meant to. Heaven came down for you. The least you can do is look up.

If you would like to read more of Cornell's work please visit his blog.

To connect with Cornell on Twitter click here.

If you would like to friend Cornell on Facebook you can find him here.

Christmas Presents or Presence

2010-12-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

"You have made known to me the ways of life; You will make me full of joy in Your Presence."

Acts 2:28

When I was a child the weeks before Christmas were very exciting. Our house was decorated beautifully and smelled of freshly baked cookies. We spent time with family and friends and, of course, participated in the yearly Christmas program. Then, on Christmas Eve, we were almost sick with excitement (and a few too many cookies) as we waited for Christmas day.

Bedtime would come and my parents would hurry us off to bed reminding us that we needed to go to sleep so that Santa could visit. After all he only traveled at night and if he did not come we would not have any gifts to open. We would try to stay awake just to hear or catch a glimpse of this jolly old man; who somehow managed to keep all the children of the world’s addresses and requests straight and deliver everything in one night.

Of course, we always fell asleep and never did see anything or anyone. All we knew was that when we went to bed there was nothing under the tree. When we woke up there were presents everywhere. What fun we had opening them to discover the things we had requested in our letters to Santa.

As the years past we obviously discovered that Santa was a figment of our imagination but still found the holiday season to be delightful. We began a tradition of opening one "special" present on Christmas Eve. We waited all day in anticipation of that moment. The excitement made me queasy every year for as long as I can remember.

More time passed and my siblings and I got married and had children. We began to find great joy in the thought that "Christmas is for kids." In keeping with that we felt much joy in the responses that came from the children to the gifts we had chosen for them.

Eventually my husband, son, and I moved away from family. We made trips back at Christmas. It seemed that our focus changed again from Christmas presents to being in the presence of those we loved. I look back on our Christmas trips. They were very special times. We made sure that the children had presents, and we gave gifts that were tokens of our love, but spending time with our loved ones celebrating the birth of Jesus was a priceless gift to us.

Over a decade ago, illness began to plague me, and we were blessed to have my parents come to live near us. We no longer made long journeys to Michigan, and our son enjoyed having Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at home. We never tried to sell him on Santa Claus and have tried to instill in him the real meaning of the season. He's now almost 20 years old. Needless to say our focus is changing again.

Upon reflection I no longer feel the anticipation that I once felt about the holidays. I cannot do many of the things I once did—things that I thought made Christmas special. Our son is grown and no longer views things as a child. My view of the season is transforming again.

My husband and I aren't exchanging gifts this year. The things that I desire cannot be purchased with money. I am content with what I have, materially speaking, and the only thing that I desire is that sense of wonder and awe I felt as a child—not for Santa—but for My Heavenly Father.

When you think about it, in some ways He parallels Santa. He knows all of His children by name. He knows the desires of our hearts and has the ability to visit each of us simultaneously. However unlike Santa He does not leave gifts that are perishable. And, if we will look for Him, we will see Him, and along with that find a gift that is priceless. His Presence in our midst.

You might ask why God’s Presence is so important. Well, the Bible says that, in His Presence is fullness of joy, in His Presence there is rest, peace of mind, hope, and renewal. Most of all, in His Presence is a love deeper than even the deep love of family and friends. I guess you can see why I have stopped asking for Christmas presents and now ask for Christ's presence instead.

Perhaps you feel less than enthralled with Christmas this year. You may be weary, worn or hurting deep inside. The pile of presents may be bought & wrapped or a list composed to purchase but you find no joy, peace, hope, or love. I recommend that you shift your focus from those tangible presents to God’s Presence—which He has promised to you even now. According to His Word He will not withhold any good thing from you. That includes His Presence in your life which, by the way, is the best gift you will ever receive.

@stickyJesus review

2010-12-16T10:18:00.000-08:00

"It's jaw dropping: People now spend over 110 billion minutes a month on social networks like Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter. Some are ranting. Some are raving. Almost all are revealing their hearts and minds as never before. This historic social shift is a dream come true for big brand marketers, political parties, and just about anyone who has something to say. So how do you-a Christ follower-navigate the noise, dodge the danger, talk the tech, and speak life and hope into the online space? You get sticky." via @stickyJesus

So, did your jaw drop? Despite being actively involved in ministry, both online and offline for two decades, mine did.

"The numbers don’t lie. More people will log on to blogs, Facebook, and Twitter this Sunday than will go to church. More people will meet the person they are going to marry online than will meet at the church barbecue. And more people will share their joys, heartbreak, and revelations via status updates than those who will seek the help of a counselor or a pastor this year. As a Christ follower, it’s your responsibility to influence the online conversation and to tell a clicking, texting, searching generation that they can’t Google their eternal life. To do this, you must master the tools needed to communicate the gospel to the world." via @stickyJesus

In the book @stickyJesus authors Tami Heim and Toni Birdsong have merged their expertise regarding media and marketing with their passion for Christ. The result is an exceptional manual for believers who desire to "master the tools" needed to impact the world for Jesus via the internet.

Not only does @stickyJesus wipe away any trace of doubt regarding the validity of online ministry it proves how vital our presence on the various social networks is "for such a time as this." It also presents valuable information that will benefit both novice and technically savvy people in their quest to become "digital scribes."

The book is comprised of 15 chapters referred to as files:

00-Introduction: what's sticky got to do with it?
01-you: born for such a time as this
02-Jesus: the stickiest story ever told
03-Jesus: Author of relationships
04-Jesus: Master of the buzz
05-Jesus: King of content
06-Holy Spirit: the Power Source
07-Christ followers: the game changers
08-warning: danger zones
09-quiet: humility zone
10-cost: everything
11-demystifying: Facebook
12-demystifying: Twitter
13-demystifying: blogging
14-demystifying: content gathering
15-you: a witness

Each chapter closes with a download section which provides a punch list of highlights for review; as well as an upload section in the form of a prayer.

A part of the book which really stood out to me was the "let's go there" sections. There is such an anointing upon the writers as they reflect on Jesus' earthly ministry. My heart was deeply touched.

Another point of interest was the "upload" sections at the end of each chapter. The authors present prayers that allow for full surrender to God. My spirit was moved by each and every word. I believe other readers will experience something similiar. The final download and upload, at the end of the book, has the power to be life-changing as well.

@stickyJesus is all about relationships, the most important of all being our relationship with Christ, and it is very helpful in reprioritizing the amount of time we spend with people.

In order for Christ's message to brilliantly shine in us He must increase and we must decrease. This takes an investment of time spent at the Master's feet. I've been reminded, while reading, just how vital giving Christ first priority is. He is our Power Source for living and interacting with others in a Christ-like manner.

It's easy to get sucked in to the online world and very important that checks and balances become a part of our daily lives in order to protect us spiritually, physically, and emotionally. You'll find valuable information in the book on how to live a balanced Christian life along with excellent tools for beefing up your defenses.

In the words of the authors "Of all the messages the world has ever heard, the gospel is still the stickiest. The good news is that God's message is your message, which makes your presence and voice online wholly (and holy) indispensable!" I couldn't agree more.

I highly recommend that you read this book and apply the wealth of wisdom within both offline and online. Your relationship with Christ will be challenged and changed and you'll also find yourself far better equipped spiritually and technically to leave a lasting mark for Christ on the world, at your fingertips, one keystroke at a time.

To interact more with @stickyJesus or to become a digital scribe click here.

To download the first chapter of the book @stickyJesus or to order your copy click here.

You can also connect with @stickyJesus via Facebook here or on Twitter here.

Here is the book trailer:

Following the King in the Land of Shiny Things from stickyJesus on Vimeo.

What I learned about God from a fish tank

2010-12-10T20:55:00.000-08:00

Recently, while attempting to straighten out the pile of books that continues to mysteriously grow in our closet, I came upon a small book by Jennifer Kennedy Dean called Pursuing the Christ. I’m not sure how long it has been in there but the layer of dust I cleared from the cover leads me to suspect it’s been awhile.

It’s a gift size book that features a collection of 31 morning and evening prayers for Christmastime. At least, that is the subtitle that is listed on the cover of the book.

I’ve found it to be so much more than I’d expected. I’m only on day #10 and it has already given me so much to think about. Passages of Scripture that I’ve read more times than I can count are coming alive in new ways. I love the fact that God’s Word is alive and active. It is fresh and always has something new to offer when we take the time to ponder it.

One of the things that I’ve been giving a lot of thought to is the whole concept of “the Word becoming flesh.” It is, after all, the main reasons believers celebrate Christmas. Our thoughts center on the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We sing about it, talk about it, even reenact the nativity. It’s a wonderful heart-warming story but when we talk about it, for what it really is, the incarnation sometimes can be a difficult concept to grasp.

Just why did God come up with this plan? Doesn’t it seem a bit bizarre? How do you explain, to the questioning mind, why Divinity clothed Himself in flesh and walked among men? That can be a hard one for some people to break down.

One of the reasons that I’m so geeked about this book, Pursuing the Christ, is because of what it offered regarding the incarnation. I was amazed by Phillip Yancey's take on the subject (which the author generously shared) and doubt that I’ll forget it anytime soon. It was helpful to me as a believer. I feel it will be of great help to inquiring minds as well.

Phillip shares about how he learned about the incarnation while, of all things, managing a salt-water aquarium. I’ve never owned one but the day after reading his explanation sat in a dentist office full of them. I found myself enthralled like never before.

Yancey explained that there is a great amount of time and detail involved in monitoring such an aquarium. Apparently they are virtually chemical laboratories where just the right levels of nitrate and ammonia must be present. Vitamins, antibiotics, sulfa drugs, and just the right amount of enzymes must be pumped in at all times. The water must be filtered properly for the rock, plants, and fish to thrive. And of course light, there must be ultraviolet light. And most importantly food must be given on schedule. Anyone who has maintained a salt-water environment for fish understands this.

Phillip went on to say this “You would think, in view of all the energy expended on their behalf that my fish would at least be grateful. Not so. Every time my shadow loomed above the tank they dove for cover into the nearest shell. They showed me one “emotion” only: fear. Although I opened the lid and dropped in food on a regular schedule, three times a day, they responded to each visit as a sure sign of my designs to torture them. I could not convince them of my true concern. To my fish I was a deity. I was too large for them, my actions, too incomprehensible. My acts of mercy they saw as cruelty; my attempts at healing they viewed as destruction. To change their perceptions, I began to see, would require a form of incarnation. I would have to become a fish and “speak to them in a language they could understand.” –The Jesus I Never Knew, Phillip Yancey

Wow.

As a sat watching the tanks in my dentist’s office the next day the filters bubbled, the ultra-violet light shone, and the clown fish, living up to their names, acted goofy. At the slightest human movement, the fish recoiled in fear. It happened over and over again. And suddenly it dawned on me--that’s why the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.

So that we could behold Him. Face to face. Hand in hand. Heart to heart. Spirit to spirit.

As we behold Him we see, hear, and feel His heart. And although His thoughts and ways are far beyond our understanding we can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He truly cares for us. His actions are merciful. His plan is for healing—not destruction.

The incarnation, simply means, that God jumped into the fish bowl of life and spoke our language so that we would finally get it. He came in the form of a baby and experienced all that we would ever go through so that He could fully relate to us and so that we would fully relate to Him.

I will never look at a fish tank the same way again!

"So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son." John 1:14 NLT

No Gift to Bring

2010-12-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

"And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshipped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh." Matthew 2:11

One of the things that I enjoy most about the holiday season are the annual Christmas programs which I began watching as a child. I am sure we all have our favorite one and, for some of us, it may be hard to choose. One I personally relate to is "The Little Drummer Boy."

For those of you who have not seen it I'll give a quick synopsis. A young boy’s family is killed and he is taken away, to be sold at a time deemed most profitable, by a nasty man. The man uses the boy’s ability to play the drum, among other things, for financial gain. He repeatedly mistreats the child who, by the way, lost his smile the day his village was destroyed.

As they travel along, they meet three kings. These men are royalty and have in their possession valuable items. They tell of "a star" and of their journey to see the "king of the Jews" who is to be born that very night. The man, being a freeloader, decides to tag along to see what he may gain on the trip. Crazy things happen along the way. Finally they come to a lowly stable where a little baby boy lies in his mother’s arms when not in a manger full of hay.

The three kings present "baby king Jesus" gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh--all of which were very costly. The little boy, whose heart was so broken by the horrors that had come upon his family, finds a tear slowly running down his cheek as the kings humbly worship the King. His heart is strangely warmed in the presence of baby Jesus.

The boy watches closely as all the gifts are presented. A frown returns to his softening face at the realization that he is empty-handed with nothing to give. Suddenly he has an idea "I’ll play my drum for Him." And so he does. If you've seen the program you probably know his song.

Often I find myself in the position of this little drummer boy as it seems that I have no gift extravegant enough to bring to Jesus my King. I see gifts all around me which are beautiful, glorious, and impressive. They are meant for royalty, and there are plenty of them. Writers who are so articulate, singers as melodious as birds, speakers who draw thousands. And I am left standing before the King with nothing to bring. That is, nothing but myself.

Was it the drummer boy’s melody played on some worn-out handmade drum that was pleasing before Mary, the mother of Jesus? Was it so grand and entertaining that it pleasured this newborn King? Not really. What made his behavior something worthy of emulating was the fact that when he realized he had nothing to give the King--he offered himself. As he pounded out his little song, he gave it his best. He put his whole heart into it. That made little Jesus smile.

Jesus smiling—imagine that. Is it so hard to conceive? I guess it is if you serve a heavy-handed, cop-in-the-sky type of God. It is not quite as hard to imagine though when you believe in the God of the Holy Bible. He loves the unlovable and seeks out the needy. He offers a home in His heavenly kingdom forever after He so graciously forgives all of our sins. All that is required is for us to give ourselves to Him.

When I sit long enough in His presence whether I am quiet, meditating on the Scriptures, or praising & worshiping Him, I believe that I—like the little drummer boy—bring the only gift I have worth bringing. Wholehearted devotion and adoration to Jesus Christ, my King. It might not seem like much to me or to others, but occasionally it is enough to make Jesus smile. That means a lot to me.

This song always brings my focus back to the truth. It is not who I am or what I've done but Who He is and what He has done that matters now and eternally.

Deeper Still

2010-12-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

In less than 24 hours I’ll be gathered in a convention center with thousands of women. I won’t know a single one of them. Yet we will all have something in common. Our motives might be different, our beliefs varied, our backgrounds diversified, etc. but each one of us will have taken a “time out” from our lives to spend the better part of two days focusing on Jesus. Why? Because of a desire to go deeper still.

The event
I’m going to attend Deeper Still event which features teachers Beth Moore, Kay Arthur, and Pricilla Shirer. I’ve never met any of them. Most likely, in this lifetime, I never will. But then again, for me, this journey is not about people, places, or things. It is about an insatiable desire to understand more about the Living Word—Jesus. I want to go deeper still.

Deep deliberation
As I’ve prepared for this trip I’ve been experiencing horrible back pain Many times I've considered abandoning the plan. Today as I was walking the indoor track at the recreation center, at the speed of a turtle, I questioned the whole thing again. I’m going someplace I’ve never been, to be with people I’ve never met, to hear people I’ve never heard—why am I doing that? Because of what God said to me during my walk. It’s time to take the plunge.

Diving in
I immediately envisioned a huge swimming pool. The water was so deep I couldn't see the bottom. There was also an enormous diving board. It was intimidating. People were splashing around near the edges of the pool and generally having a good time. Suddenly, out of the blue, a woman slowly and deliberately walked out to the very end of the diving board. She stood for a moment, positioned herself, and with perfect form dove in to the water headfirst. All chatter silenced as the sounds of the splash echoed from wall to wall. All eyes were on the water as they waited for the diver to emerge. Time seemed to stand still until finally her head popped up and then the rest of her body. She was drenched, soaked, dripping—wet from head to toe.

Totally submerged
There was instant pandemonium. All of the people who had been playing around in the pool suddenly wanted to dive in too. Whether from the diving board or the sides of the pool they were no longer content to be partially emerged. They all wanted to go deeper still.

The problem with the plunge
For me the desire to go deeper still is only hindered by one thing—fear. This event is far outside of my comfort zone. As a matter-of-fact it is not something I would normally ever consider going to alone. Women’s events are meant to attend with other women, right? Well I tried that line on God but it didn’t carry much weight. God has repeatedly prompted me to push past my fear, lack of control, and discomfort and go. How can I NOT obey?

Taking the plunge
I really have no idea of what God has planned this weekend. He has repeatedly reminded me to prepare my heart. I’m diving into uncharted waters without any advanced lessons. Interestingly enough, I'm not a fan of diving boards. As a result this analogy has not been overly soothing.

Fighting fear
Fear is a horrible foe. It robs us of so many things. Tonight it may rob me of some sleep. Time will tell. There is one thing that it cannot take away from me. Fear cannot steal from me the insatiable desire for more of Jesus. Well, let me rephrase that. It could, but I won’t let it. I’m going to walk the plank (smile), position myself, and dive in headfirst at this event. I need more of Jesus in my life. I have to be fully emerged in His truths, drenched with His Spirit, and soaked with His love.

Desire trumps fear
I need a radical change. I want to possess something that people will strongly crave or desire. Once before in my life in a similar situation I made the choice to obey despite my discomfort. It paid off big and I’ve never been the same. So, I’m going to dive in and let God handle the rest.

Lord, take me deeper still!

Emmanuel

2010-12-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

There is a word that I love. It thrills me like no other. Something about it drips with a sweetness that I can't quite explain.

Each time I hear it the beat of my heart quickens it's pace. The droning of the familiar noises of the day are suddenly pushed further into the distance. Sometimes they are even silenced momentarily as this four syllable word crosses my mind or escapes my lips.

Emmanuel.

Perhaps you've heard it as part of this chorus:

Emmanuel, Emmanuel.
His name is called Emmanuel.
God with us, revealed in us.
His name is called Emmanuel.
(lyrics by Bob McGee)

Although most often heard in conjunction with Christmas it's not just a seasonal song or concept. I'm puzzled as to why we speak this word so seldom throughout the year. I've pondered this today, after reading these verses as part of my morning devotional:

"All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him E(I)mmanuel” (which means “God with us”)." Matthew 1:22-23 NIV

I realize that this Scripture takes place within the confines of the nativity story but the prophetic fulfillment of the birth of Jesus ushered in something that mankind had long been awaiting; the possibility to once again have unhindered fellowship with God.

Emmanuel. God with us.

Perhaps what makes this word both so powerful and yet at times so hard to grasp is its actual meaning. If it meant God near us, or around us, or by us--it would be much easier to comprehend for most of us.

Near, around, or by seems much more plausible to our human minds. It leaves God coming and going as He desires or perhaps us coming and going as we please.

God with us takes the relationship to a different level. To the place where He "never leaves or forsakes us." To a new sense of awareness that He does not pick and choose the situations in which He will be active in our lives. It brings unhindered fellowship 24/7 with Yahweh--our holy God. And it means that He is ever-present.

It means that when He came, He came to stay.

With us.

In us.

Not God in our neighborhood, or God in our city, or God somewhere within screaming distance--God with us.

Now that's a powerful thought and it's hard to grasp, isn't it. That the King of Kings would vacate his heavenly throne and come to this world to rescue fallen humanity, by sacrificing Himself, totally boggles my mind.

"He so loved us that, for our sake,
He was made man in time,
although through him all times were made.
He was made man, who made man.
He was created of a mother whom he created.
He was carried by hands that he formed.
He cried in the manager in worldess infancy, he the Word,
without whom all human eloquence is mute."
Augustine, Sermon 188, 2 (Taken from the book Pursuing the Christ by Jennifer Kennedy Dean)

That kind of love is beyond comprehension. It moves far past the reaches of my mind to the recesses of my spirit. And although, I'll never fully understand it, I fully embrace Him. Who could ever reject that kind of sacrifice or the constant presence of such Love in their lives?

He came to pay a debt that He did not owe. The cost was His life, which He gave freely, so that all those who believe in Him might have eternal life.

God with us--forever.

That's why I love, Emmanuel.

Do you hear the word Emmanuel often?

What does it mean to you?

A real fix

2010-11-30T10:20:00.000-08:00

By nature, I'm a fixer. It's not something that I'm necessarily proud of. Just something I've come to realize. If I had it my way, everything would be right in the world and in the lives of the people that I know. It was only a few days ago when as part of an apology to a loved one I uttered the words "sometimes I just try to hard to fix things."

Problem solving as a life occupation
That is probably the understatement of the century. I've spent most of my life trying to help others with problems. It is part of what I do as a minister and a counselor. But there is a fine line between leading people to truth and trying to fix them.

Fixated with fixing
Sometimes for me the lines get blurred. When that happens I become stressed out. I normally don't realize it until I snap at a loved one or burst into tears. When my need to fix overshadows my faith in God problems grow larger than life. I begin to find myself feeling helpless and alone. Instead of leading others to God, I try to be God. And the more I try to be God, the less I resemble Him.

Problems, problems
There are many things going on within the confines of my "world" that are beyond my ability to fix. I am physically experiencing severe back pain and not certain what type of care to pursue. My Mom is having health issues and awaiting surgery. The holiday season is approaching and grief seems to be rearing it's ugly head. Our ministry is currently seeking to offically become a non-profit organization but we've been unable to find help in filing the necessary paperwork. We've finally have funds available but people aren't even returning our calls.

The neverending list
And that is only the tip of the iceburg. We all have a list of problems that are pressing in on us. It is part of the daily life experience. Just yesterday my husband and I had a conversation about my list. We talked about how unrealistic it is for me to believe that I can solve any of them. I agreed. And yet my night was plagued by dreams about those very situations. Being fixated with fixing things at times runs deep. I've often wished I had an off button in my brain--especially at night. Yet another thing I'm concerned about fixing.

When Jesus calls
Recently a friend sent me a copy of Sarah Young's book Jesus Calling. Already I have found it to be a treasure. This morning my Savior met me to discuss the issue that I have with fixing things. This is what He said:

"Problems are part of life. They are inescapable: woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem-solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capicity to fix everything. This is a habitual response, so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking. Not only does this habit frustrate you, it also distances you from Me.

Do not let fixing things be your top priority. You are ever so limited in your capacity to correct all that is wrong in the world around you. Don't weigh yourself down with responsibilities that are not your own. Instead, make your relationship with Me your primary concern. Talk with Me about whatever is on your mind, seeking My perspetive on the situation. Rather than trying to fix everything that comes to your attention ask Me to show you what is truly important. Remember that you are en route to heaven, and let your problems fade in the Light of eternity," Jesus Calling pg 349

And of course the Word backs this up:

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." Psalm 32:8

"But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him." Philippians 3:20-21 The Message

A worthy fixation
I'm always thankful when Jesus comes to call. He is God, and I am not. I know this but sometimes I need His powerful reminders. Once again, He has reiterated to me that my relationship with Him is my primary concern. He really is the only One worth of our fixation--anyway! Besides, He is the ultimate Fixer!

Are you ever plagued by the need to fix things? If so what have you done in response.

What helps you to fix your eyes on Jesus?

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2 NIV

The Power Belongs to God

2010-11-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

“Truly my soul silently waits for God; From Him comes my salvation. He is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved. My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. God has spoken once, Twice I have heard this; THAT POWER BELONGS TO GOD." Ps 62:1-2, 5-8, 11

I’ve been thinking about this Scripture and also about the many “confessions of faith” that I read and or hear in the various circles that I am a part of. I believe in the power of words. I also believe that we need to speak the truth of God’s Word. Yet I cannot help but question, at times, if people’s faith is in the power of their word or in the power of the Word. The “living Word” to be more specific and His trustability.

Who do we trust?

Are we trusting God OR are we trusting in the perceived power of our declarations and attempts at appearing strong and sufficient? Our trust is an indicator of where we believe that the power lies. Where we place our faith matters.

A biblical example

David was a man after God’s own heart. A warrior and king; he knew all about battles. He also knew about power. Yet in Psalm 62 he makes some very interesting declerations. He speaks about waiting, weakness, vulnerability and hints at "surrending."

Ah, surrender, now there is a word we rarely hear in Christian circles. Why? Because we often associate the word “surrender” with the word defeat. Yet when looking at Scripture we find that these two words are not remotely related.

The power of letting go

In order for us to have victory as a believer we must continually “surrender” ourselves to God. That means we must turn over, turn loose, let go, and leave things with Him. There is POWER in our prayers. The Bible clearly states “the fervent effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” However, the true power behind that prayer comes as a result of being totally surrendered to Christ.

A surrendered life

A life surrendered to Christ is first about BEING and then about DOING. This goes against the grain of human nature and the only way to get past the point of feeling that we have to do-do-do in order to be-be-be is to get to the place of the Psalmist who said, “truly my soul silently waits for God. God only, and He alone. My expectation IS FROM HIM.”

Surrender involves waiting

Expecting from God means receiving on His terms. Many times this involves waiting. In order to wait on God we must get comfortable with times of silence. Just because there is silence does not mean that God is not “doing” and that we are not “becoming” what He desires us to be.

The four "S's" of silence

It is important to cultivate the ability to quiet yourself before Him and WAIT. Speak to your soul just as the Psalmist did. Command and demand this time of silence (verse 5). You will find yourself experiencing God in ways you never have before. The “silence of surrender” brings salvation, strength, security and stability.

New levels of trust

Each time we reach a place of surrender it results in a new level of trust in God. “Trust in Him at all times, pour out your hearts before Him”–this is the very essence of our lives in Him. We grow daily as we surrender to God and our level of faith climbs as He becomes the only One worthy of our trust.

Seeing where the power lies

What we once felt responsible to do ourselves we no longer feel the need to do. We are no longer worriers but instead we have become warriors as we come to see where the real POWER lies. It was never with us, it is only in us as Jesus has taken up residence in our heart.

Plugging in

Often times we command power and speak words that yield no authority because we have failed to plug in or remain plugged into the Source. We have no power, in and of ourselves. We are not the masters of our fate, the drivers of our destiny. The world may try to tell us this is true but the Word of God says something else.

It was spoken once and even twice…”power belongs to God.”

The only question that remains is are you plugged into Him?

Autumn reflections

2010-11-22T23:17:00.000-08:00

We've had a very different kind of autumn this year in Tennessee. Some trees still have all of their leaves, others are completely bare. Many have already transformed into a rainbow of colors. A few are still green.

When I got a DSLR camera last winter one of my greatest anticipations was the changing of the seasons. Especially fond of the transformation that takes place between winter and spring, and summer and fall I couldn't wait to try to capture some of the beauty of God's magnificant handiwork.

In some ways I have succeeded. Not as evidenced by these pictures, obviously. There are a few very special snaps which to some extent reflect His creative skills. But I've come to the conclusion that much of what God does is not meant to be captured but rather to be experienced.

I am thankful that I serve a God Who I'll forever be in pursuit of. He cannot be captured or fully contained but He can be experienced. The only equipment required for that is an open mind and a ready heart! Through every season He desires to make Himself known to us. What an awesome God, He is!

"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."- Albert Camus

“Autumn asks that we prepare for the future —that we be wise in the ways of garnering and keeping. But it also asks that we learn to let go—to acknowledge the beauty of sparseness.” ~Bonaro W. Overstreet

"No Spring nor Summer Beauty hath such grace As I have seen in one Autumnal face." - John Donne

"Autumn is the eternal corrective. It is ripeness and color and a time of maturity; but it is also breadth, and depth, and distance. What man can stand with autumn on a hilltop and fail to see the span of his world and the meaning of the rolling hills that reach to the far horizon?"- Hal Borland

Why I'm Thankful for Bullies

2010-11-17T21:42:00.000-08:00

Bullies, I've met a few in my time. One of the interesting things that happens when people unmercifully pick on you is that their words often stick. As a result, years later, the jeers of the past are stuck in the buffer of an unconscious tape that replays in our minds.

I hate that tape.

Perhaps you have heard some of these more universal insults play back at the most inopportune moments. I certainly have. Things like:

You're ugly.

You're stupid.

What a nerd.

Loser.

You'll never amount to anything.

Maybe you deal with other lies.

Those are just a few of the many mean things that people said to me as I was growing up. Despite the fact that I know they are not true sometimes they still return to haunt me. From time to time, I ask my husband if there is a big "L" on my forehead. He rarely replies any more. In truth, I already know the answer. No one can make me feel inferior without my permission. I've given in many times, though.

I know I must learning to change the tape.

I went through a long period of being bullied when, at the age of 16, a mass developed on the right side of my face. Near the end of the school year the surgeon recommended a biopsy. It was frightening. I'd never been in the hospital before, let alone, had someone planning to operate on my face. Fortunately, I was in good hands, and because I didn't have to return to school had plenty of time to heal while savoring a good pathology report.

Then things changed.

By the end of summer things there were signs that the mass was returning. It was very upsetting. As a member of the marching band, chorus, and a chorale group that traveled and performed--I wanted to hide. Yet quite often I couldn't. My friends and peers were kind to me. Their words of encouragement kept me going through many difficult days.

It was often strangers who did the bullying.

"Hey baseball face were you born that way?"

"Wow, I've seen better looking monsters."

This time the mass grow quite quickly and became about the size of a hardball. The doctors waited until absolutely necessary before removing it because they did not want to have to repeatedly do surgery on my face. I didn't want them to, either.

Waiting is hard.

One mid-January afternoon we went for a scheduled appointment. It turned out to be anything but routine. The mass had nearly tripled in size and was blocking my visual fields aside from being able to seeing straight forward due to it's location. The plastic surgeon shuttled us over to Mott's Children's Hospital in his car. There a huge group of surgeons prodded, poked, ultra sounded, and questioned me.

It was overwhelming.

The mass had changed at an alarming rate. Surgery was scheduled immediately. It was dangerous due to the location and the delicate network of nerves running along the side of my face. Not to mention the fact that the doctors had already told my parents that if the mass was malignant, they would have to close me up, as there would be nothing that they could do.

We were anxious but prayerful.

When I woke up from that surgery one of my teachers was standing next to my bed. He asked what the doctor had said to me. Despite my post-surgical fog I was able to recall that they said things were okay. This was a great relief to him as his main concern was that it might be cancer, something he faced every day, with his daughter who was born fighting the disease. It was not cancer but the surgery was extensive. Over 300 stitches were skillfully placed in strategic locations. The surgeons took great pains in hiding as much of their work as possible. Still it was a huge adjustment for me.

I remained self-conscious.

I stayed out of school for almost two months. In all honesty I had no desire to return. My doctor who'd begun to pick up the rumblings of depression began to challenge me. It worked. Although I'd been given the opportunity to bag off on the rest of my senior year and still graduate--I summoned the courage to return to school. That meant returning to the public eye with both friends and foes.

Now the bullies had other things to say. Other cruel questions to ask. Additional snide remarks to make. Bigger insults to hurl.

"How did you get that dent in your face."

"Were you born ugly, or did you have to work at it. "

People can be so cruel.

But from the jeers I learned great lessons about myself. I learned that my identity does not come from my looks or my abilities. Despite the opportunities to dish out rude responses, I learned that a soft answer (and some times no answer) turns away wrath. I came to the realization that God had a plan for me despite my facial deformity and other issues.

What they meant for evil God meant for good.

The lessons have continued as I've grown into an adult. From time to time people still make comments about my face. That's okay. At least, most of the time, these are now in the form of questions. That makes it much easier to handle.

Every now and then a person will make a "wisecrack" about my physical disabilities. Not understanding that being crippled in body does not mean crippled in mind--their words do sting. But thankfully they don't throw me off track nearly as often as before.

I'm thankful for bullies.

They've taught me more about who I am and who I desire to be. Their cruel remarks have challenged me to take the high road. In many ways they've done a work that kindness could not do. A quote I read, just yesterday, kind of sums it up:

"In life, think of mean people like sand paper. They may scratch you and hurt you, but at the end, you come out smooth and polished and the mean person is just worn and ugly." Unknown

Smoothing and polishing is necessary for me to shine for Christ.

Jesus faced a lot of bullies in His time. He had nothing to learn from them but used their actions, on more than one occasion, as a platform from which to teach His followers. His teachings were in sharp contrast to the law and also contrary to human nature. Through them He taught others to love God's way--the polar opposite of what we're used to. And it is important to heed His words.

We'll never reach people if we don't love them.

Jesus gave these instructions regarding bullies: "You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty." Matthew 5:44-45 The MSG

I'm not sure if it is the written laws or unwritten companions that often do so much harm. But I am certain that when we love and pray for someone who gives us a hard time it does bring out the best in us. How can imitating the Master possibly do anything less?

Were you ever bullied?

What impact has it had on you?

Where are you in the process of learning to pray for those who mistreat(ed) you?

How can I pray for you today?

Got fears? Got unfilled dreams? Get The Summit!

2010-11-17T12:22:00.000-08:00

The book:
Few people have the opportunity, wherewithal, or skills that Eric Alexander possesses. A skier, climber, and mountaineer, who fell in love with the outdoors at a young age, Eric lives out his faith while helping others to achieve their dreams.

The Summit: Faith Beyond Everest's Death Zone chronicles the adventures of Alexander and his team(s), which often includes people with disabilities, as they travel and tackle some of the most perilous peaks in the world.

The author gives an awesome "behind the scenes" view of what it requires as a leader and team member on these expeditions. I learned a great deal geographically and culturally about: Ama Dablam, Mount Everest, Mount Elbrus, Pisco, Machu Pichu, Kilimanjaro, Aconcagua, & Denali. The glossary provided was very useful in understanding any of the terms related to climbing.

I found The Summit to be quite gripping. I laughed, I cried, and I was challenged as the author recounted both humorous and tragic stories in a very vivid way. Eric is a wonderful storyteller who has the ability to make the reader feel as though they were there. That made the book very enjoyable to read.

Throughout The Summit Alexander shares about his friend Erik Weihenmayer whose goal of climbing some of the most difficult mountains in the world has shattered people's perceptions about what is possible for both blind and sighted people. Erik Weihenmayer, who is blind has without a doubt, with the help of his faithful guide, accomplished his goal. Anyone who attempts to climb mountains is ambitious, in my opinion, but those who do so despite disabilities are truly inspirational. They inspire you to revisit and revise your thoughts about what is possible when you truly believe.

One of the greatest strengths in the author's life is his faith. It not only helps in climbing mountains, or leading teams, but in daily life situations. Along with sharing stories about the various trips, Eric shares spiritual reflections at the end of each chapter from which I found myself taking notes.

For instance: "If you only trust God as far as you can throw Him, you don't trust at all. You have got to trust Him as far as He can throw you. If we approach trust in the Lord like we do human relationships, that is to way with a piece of our heart leaning on our own understanding, we will fail. Maybe you can only give a piece at a time; that is okay, but be determined to give it all. Later you will gain it all." What a challenge!

And what a challenge this book is, period. If you are interested in a breath-taking look at mountain climbing this book is for you. If you are interested in better understanding what it takes to be a great leader or team player you will benefit from this book. If you or someone you know is disabled or discouraged and in need of inspiration to fulfill their dreams, look no further, The Summit will provide new hope and determination regardless of your age or station in life.

The author:
Eric Alexander, skier, climber, and mountaineer is achieving his goals while playing an instrumental role in helping others to achieve their own. On May 25th 2001 Eric defied the odds and scaled Mt. Everest guiding his blind- friend Erik Weihenmayer to its lofty 29,035′ summit. In 2002 the pair traveled to Russia and climbed Mt. Elbrus at 18,500 ft, and again found success on Mt. Kosciusko, Australia –– two more of the seven summits (the highest points on each of the seven continents) notably the pair skied from the top of each of these latter two – making this the first-ever blind ski descents. Eric shares this inspirational story with audiences all over the country and when he is not traveling he teaches disabled skiers in Vail, Colorado and directs Adventures Beyond Limits, an organization that educates and encourages youth with disabilities in the outdoors.

Eric grew up in the Colorado Rockies and started climbing in his teens. He was a member of the University of Denver ski team, which led him to pursue work as a Ski Patrolman in Vail and in the French Alps, as well as instructing at Beaver Creek Resort. Eric has successfully climbed the highest point on six of the seven continents and led expeditions throughout Europe, North America, South America, the Himalaya and other mountainous regions of the globe.

To learn more about Eric visit his website here.

You can find my interview with the author here.

Download the first two chapters of The Summit here.

Purchase a copy of The Summit here.

Share this book trailer video for an opportunity to win one of two Kindles loaded with The Summit. Details can be found here.

My thanks to Eric Alexander for sharing his testimony and stories. Also, thank to New Leaf Publishing Group for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book.

The Summit: An Interview With Eric Alexander

2010-11-16T19:32:00.000-08:00

***NOTICE: Be sure to read to the bottom of this post to see how you can possibly win one of two Kindles!!!

I recently had the pleasure of reading Eric Alexander's book The Summit: Faith Beyond Everest’s Death Zone . It is a very engaging and encouraging read.

As a popular speaker, Eric Alexander highlights the importance of trust, courage, teamwork, and integrity. Eric inspires others to aspire to even greater summits in their own lives, relationships, careers, and spiritual journeys. He founded Higher Summits, and works to educate and encourage youth with disabilities. He also teaches disabled skiers in Vail, CO.

Tommorow, I will be posting my review of The Summit a book which allows the reader the unique opportunity to climb in the footsteps of Eric and his unique life journey of guiding people with disabilities to the most perilous places of the world, including Mount Everest’s first blind ascent, abject terror on Ama Dablam, blind ski descent of Russian’s Mount Elbrus, up Kilimanjaro in Africa with four blind teens, as well as other summits and beyond!

Today, I am featuring an interview with the author:

1. Tell us about yourself and how your occupation is considerably different from most people?

Eric: I am married to Amy, have twin daughters Karis and Aralyn, serve in my local church, lead climbs and treks all over the world and make a living speaking to audiences around the globe by sharing a message of inspiration that challenges people to take on their own “Everest’s.”

2. What are some of the mountain summits you’ve conquered in the world?

Eric: I have summited the highest peaks on six of the seven continents including taking my blind friend Erik Weihenmayer to the summit of Everest. Beyond this I have climbed hundreds of other peaks in numerous countries.

3. How do these relate to summits other people face in their lives?

Eric: I believe that a mountain climb is a perfect metaphor for life. We need goals, desire, strength, motivation, trust, teamwork, courage, and the list could be a mile long to face a challenging climb. The same that is true for a physical mountain is true for any obstacle whether that be cancer, relationships, finances, business and the more we can rely on faith and core values, the better equipped we are to face life’s challenges.

4. In what way does your book help others connect more deeply to God in each chapter with the Crux, the Hold, and the Anchor?

Eric: What I have laid out here at the end of each chapter is a challenge that we may all face and I call this the crux. A solution I offer is termed the hold, and most importantly the anchor is a scriptural answer from the Bible that will hopefully invite the reader to connect with God for the best answer.

5. Was there anything you faced that nearly stopped your dream of climbing Mount Everest?

Eric: Just the year before on a training climb of Ama Dablam (a more technical climb near Everest), I had a near fatal fall of 150’. This ended with me getting a life-threatening illness High Altitude Pulmonary Edema and later viral pneumonia. After this I lost my best friend in a back-country snow boarding accident and it was the fear and doubt that were almost insurmountable for me to again face my Everest.

6. What was it that kept you going, and still motivates your work and faith today?

Eric: Knowing that I serve a loving God that has his best in mind for me.

7. Tell us about that record-setting team ascent of Mount Everest in May of 2001?

Eric: This team put a blind man on the summit, the largest team to summit on same day, first American father and son, largest camera – HD video, and oldest summiteer Sherman Bull at 64.

8. In what ways is this highlighted in your new book, The Summit?

Eric: The Summit is about the hard work and the journey that climbing is. The book culminates the journey on the summit of Everest in celebratory style.

9. How do you now help others overcome obstacles in their lives in order to achieve their own dreams as well?

Eric: One of the great things about this climb on Everest was that it was not about me, not about the individuals, it was about serving someone else. The things I have learned from this experience I try to pass on to others I meet who have disabilities and encourage them on towards striving for their goals and dreams.

10. What is the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn in your life of adventure?

Eric: Sometimes eggs are the only food on the table. Eat them or go hungry.

If you would like to get to know Eric Alexander even better please feel free to visit his website.

CONTEST: To celebrate the publication of The Summit New Leaf Publishing Group is giving away 2 Kindles, both with The Summit already loaded on them.

To enter the contest all you need to do is post the video book trailer below on your favorite social media sites. You must complete this form to officially enter the contest. Post as often in as many places as you like. Each post will count as an individual entry.

Here is the video:

My thanks to New Leaf Press, an imprint of New Leaf Publishing Group, for providing a review copy of The Summit.

Rain

2010-11-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baka, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion." Psalm 84:5-7

Our heavenly bamboo tree is living up to it's name before our very eyes. In the past few days it has begun to turn beautiful colors, along with so many other trees, throughout middle Tennessee. Some trees are still fully green. Others stand bare surrounded by their fallen leaves. This has been an unusual autumn with record high temperatures, very little frost, and drought-like conditions.

Yes, drought-like conditions. Perhaps it has rained in some parts of the state but in the area we live in there has been very little rain since the devestating floods of 2010. Our once lush lawn is the light golden shade of a harvested hay field.

It crunches underfoot. I find it downright creepy.

Today, for the first time since May, showers fell steadily throughout most of the day. I stopped to thank God, more than once, for the much needed autumn rains.

And I continue to pray for rain--naturally and spiritually speaking!

The Word

2010-11-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

As I prepare to setup an office, after four years of using a tray table on our bed, I've been doing some surveying. I can't help myself. By nature I'm a planner.

One of the decisions that I must make is what will remain a part of the guest bedroom and what will go into my office. I'm finding it difficult, since I have not had a dedicated room for work before. My office has always been a part of another space. For some reason that made planning easier--or so it seemed.

Decisions, decisions.

Several years ago we purchased a beautiful lead-glass bookcase. It's small and holds a mixture of books and CDs. All of my most prized books and music are held within it. Because it's been upstairs, tucked away, I've rarely seen it in recent days. I am an avid reader and currently have piles of books in our walk-in closet. (I really need to do something about that, as well, but for now they will have to wait.)

When we moved I thinned down my/our book collection quite a bit. Of course, during the course of graduate school I collected more. They seem to multiply in my sleep. They are on the big bookshelf in our great room.

My personal bookcase is full of treasures including out of print books, etc. On the top shelf are my Bibles. Not all of them, but the ones that will fit. I've also got more downstairs--including my "sword" which has already been rebound once. I love the Word of God and own just about every translation there is. Of course, the internet makes it easy to enjoy a variety of translations and paraphrases with sites like Biblegateway.com which is one of my favorites.

Today, I'd hoped to start packing away the remnants of my son's room. He moved to Alabama this year and will not be back for the summer. His room will become the guest room. Which leaves an open room for my office. I'm excited at the thought of having a space to steal away to and also a place to counsel people. Yet every time that I make a plan to move forward with the switch it seems something or someone stands in the way.

This time--it was me.

I've been helping my Mom out the past few days. She is doing better, thankfully. However I lost a lot of sleep, and as a result, I've been sick in bed most of the day.

Which is why I am so thankful for The Word. Even when I am not well enough to physically search out one of my many Bibles the Holy Spirit brings it to my rememberance. He's faithful and I am so thankful for the way God ministers to me no matter where I am at or what I am doing--or not doing.

Today I was too exhausted to execute any of the things on my to-do list. made. My husband went to breakfast with a friend. We axed plans to attend a free event that I'd hoped to photograph. While I lying in the dark in my room this passage came to me:

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Message says it this way:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

What an invitation.

I took Him up on it!

Life

2010-11-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend, Debbie Petras, shared a post about the Giving Thanks Challenge 2010 another friend is currently hosting.

I went over to her blog to get the details but, because I had been taking care of my Mom for several days, was too tired to write my introductory post before going to bed. I decided to sleep on it and write it first thing this morning.

For some reason I didn't sleep well. My mind was racing with thoughts of things that I need to accomplish before the end of the year. It's a fairly long list and I seem to be growing further behind with each passing day. My rest was fitful and disturbed and my head hurt.

This morning I woke up early with the same nasty migraine that I went to bed with. Usually migraine medications help when I take them. I didn't. Mostly because on Saturday I'd jumped out of bed to race over and feed my Mom's cat (who eats like a pig) and was hit by a wave of dizziness much like you'd experience while riding a merry-go-round. My blood pressure was low--again.

Nothing about my routine had changed aside from taking Imitrex before going to bed. The first pill had not worked and because it seemed a possible culprit I bypassed a second dose, despite the constant pounding sensation in my head throughout the entire day. Anything to avoid another drop in my vitals during the night.

This morning I woke up early and quietly moved out of bed with lightening speed, thinking I'd grab my netbook and post my intro before going next door. Unfortunately I couldn't take a step due to the spinning. Feeling for the edge of the bed, in our still dark room, I sat down quickly.

The longer I sat the louder the roaring noise in my ears got. I've stood by passing trains that were quieter. There wasn't any point in trying to fight it. My blood pressure was even lower than yesterday and my head felt like it might explode. I laid back down feeling discouraged.

When my husband began to stir I asked for a large glass of water. Despite the desire to retrace all of my steps in an effort to determine why this problem was surfacing again the headache wouldn't let me think. As soon as I was steady enough to stand I went next door to take care of the lifting and bending so my Mom's back can heal. She was worried I'd faint. She has cause to worry. I've done it dozens of times. Blacked my eyes. Bloodied my nose. But thankfully not today. Today my body gave warning signs. And kept breathing.

I quickly finished up my chores and, instead of staying to visit, returned to our side of the condo to get rid of the migraine. It's been a few hours and most of the pain is gone. My thinking is not clear but it's much better than earlier. While resting I thought about abandoning the challenge. Things are getting off to a rocky start. I also thought about all of the blessings that surround me. My life is full of them. Including having the luxury to rest.

Then I began to think back to a time, a few years ago, when my life nearly came to an end. My body crumbled to the floor without warning. Paramedics came to our home, tended to me in our kitchen floor, and told my husband that they were unable to find a pulse or blood pressure--or any signs of life. I wrote a short account of it recently here.

The longer I rested the more it dawned on me that, despite having frustrating blood pressure issues, I am thankful for LIFE. Without LIFE I would not be able to enjoy any of it's blessings. I thank God for giving me LIFE (see Psalm 139) and sustaining my LIFE in difficult times.

I. Am. Grateful.

"In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10

Thanksgiving or thanks living?

2010-11-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

Last night, as I made my way across the driveway and into the house, ghoulish sounds penetrated an otherwise peaceful night. Somewhere in the neighborhood behind us a haunted house was entertaining or terrifying trick-or-treaters as they made the trek around the city in hopes of collecting some treats.

This morning, while watching the news, I was suprised to see Christmas commercials. What? There's hardly been time to take off the costumes or rake away leaves that are still falling and already “Christmas is in the air.” I find it a little disturbing and it appears I am not alone.

There have been grumblings within the ranks of those who participate in social networking. “Isn’t there a holiday between Halloween and Christmas” people are asking? That's a good question and one that I ask as well. Some people are concerned about what they perceive to be a sweeping away of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is considered by many to be a holiday of "reflective gratitude." Or at least they'd like it to be--myself included. As a result they are using sites like GratitudeLog, Facebook, or Twitter to daily post expressions of thankfulness.

Last year several of my friends spent a few moments, every day in the month of November, sharing their blessings via the internet. Their posts, whether short or long, were quite moving. This year I'm going to attempt to join in. Some of my posts will be long, others short, a few might simply include a photo or video. I don't know yet, because I'm totally new to this.

I do believe that, to some extent, we've lost sight of Thanksgiving. Historically it dates back to 1621 and was a celebration between the colonists of Plymouth and the Wampanoag Indians. Together they shared from the bounty of their crops in celebration of a rich harvest.

We often see grade school plays with a few pilgrims or indians in the month of November but over the years it seems that this holiday has evolved into the three “Ts”: travel, television and turkey. These three T's shared with families and friends now seem to make Thanksgiving meaningful. Yet when we really think about it a day, or even a month, set aside to reflect upon what we are thankful for hardly seems enough.

Suppose instead of Thanksgiving we adopted "thanks living" by taking time each day to stop and count our blessings? After all each day is truly a gift. "Thanks living" is actually a biblical concept that was exhibited in the life of King David who said “I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.” (Psalm 9:1 ESV) David realized that all of God’s deeds, great and small, are worthy of our gratitude--and worship.

The word “worship” is derived from the word “worth” and used to express the worthiness of God. We worship in various ways: song, dance, reading the Bible and prayer. An important element of prayer is giving thanks. When we take the time to count our blessings and offer thanks to the One responsible for them, in essence, we are worshipping. It is not so much about our physical position as it is the condition of our hearts.

A grateful heart pauses to express their affection to the giver. When we take the time to worship God we humbly express our gratefulness for His guidance, protection and provision in our lives. He’s faithful to us on a daily basis--not just one day a year.

"Thanks living" acknowledges the sun when it comes up in the morning and the stars as they twinkle at night and breathes thanks; hears the laughter of a child or feels the hug of a loved one and feeling blessed. "Thanks living" sees a roof overhead, food on the table, a warm bed to sleep in and feels grateful.

How we choose to keep a record of our blessings is not nearly as important as actually recognizing them and setting aside time to reflect upon the "Giver of all things--God." That is the largest challenge I will face over the next thirty days. Yet I look forward to it and and hope that it will continue as a part of my daily devotionals long after the month of November.

If we were to make a list of blessings, using words that span the entire alphabet, we'd quickly see how much we have to be thankful for. Were we to choose just one blessing each day, for which to express gratitude, we could probably spend the rest of our lives giving thanks.

Sounds like a great way to live.

I'll be linking up with Leah, at South Breeze Farm, for the 2010 Giving Thanks Challenge and hope to see you there. I'm a little late in writing this introductory post and am THANKFUL that my friend Debbie over at Heart Choices shared about the challenge, which is in it's fourth year, on her blog yesterday.

Now, on with the "thanks living."

You Can Ride This Bike

2010-10-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

"Give the devil a black eye for me" my friend had said in an email message. I chuckled at the thought as I whirled through the house. We were preparing to leave for a women's retreat and it had been quite a day. We'd encountered the usual resistance that comes when God is about to do something special in people’s lives.

As a result, I was running behind. I scurried around the house trying to put things in order, so that the youth could crash for the night, while I spent time with 600 women and girls.

The women from our church were very excited about the event and I was anxious to meet them so that we could get started on our journey. Opening the hall closet, to put something away, a large object fell and struck me in the face. I saw stars and am sure the impact would have knocked me to the ground had it not been for the long leg cast which was a part of my usual attire.

The pain of it all did not register because I was experiencing a serious adrenaline rush. I did, however, hop by the mirror and saw a little "mouse" forming near my eye (boxer term for small bruise that will turn ugly). Shrugging it off I kept moving. After all, I was a woman on a mission—and you know what that means!

By the time my husband and son walked in, I was hurrying out the door. My son said I looked like a boxer who'd lost a bad fight. My husband asked if I wanted some ice. Ignoring their remarks I made my way to the car. All I wanted to do was get to the church so that the women could get to the event. I didn't have to drive the church van and only had to give directions. By nature I'm not the kind who does self-inspection in rear-view mirrors. Otherwise I'd have been aghast by my developing "Quasimodo state."

When I arrived at the church my eye was swollen shut. When we got to the location of the retreat, we headed straight to the auditorium because the worship was about to begin. The first strike of the cymbal resonated in my head as if I were the instrument. At that time I had no clue that the left side of my head was rapidly swelling and I'd hemorrhaged down the entire side of my face. All, I knew was I was in incredible pain. Despite the theme "Diamonds In The Rough" I struggled to even remotely relate to a lump of coal.

The rest of the weekend was blurry. The music, the speakers, and activities were something for the most part I endured. However, during the last session the speaker used an illustration about how she and her husband had encouraged their little boy to take the training wheels off his bike.

Head injuries cause strange things to stand out because despite the deep thick fog which enveloped me I clearly heard the story about them helping their son. She shared how they had encouraged him to say, "I can ride this bike" as he pedaled along.

My mind drifted back to when I was a child. I recalled the day my father took the training wheels off my purple bike. He said it was time. I was terrified. Then he ran down the street holding on to the seat behind me encouraging me to pedal hard. He promised not to let go and told me that I would not fall off if I would continue pedaling and keep looking forward. He did a lot of running that day until, when finally I got the hang of it, he was able to let go. I sailed over the bumpy cement smiling like a Cheshire cat as he continued to yell behind me--and I didn't fall off once. (that day)

The speaker went on to share about reaching a very low point in her life. She was going through difficult times in her business. One day she went to her office and there, with all the financial statements and unpaid bills surrounding her, she sat in the floor repeating, "You can ride this bike, you can ride this bike."

Fearing that she'd suffered a breakdown her employees called her husband. Upon arriving he walked in and sat down behind her and together they prayed through the situation believing that "Abba, Father" their "Papa, God" would not let them fall and would allow them to move forward if they would keep pedaling and not give up.

Isaiah 41:10 is one of many Scriptures that tells us this is true. It says, "Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Something about that story stuck with me although I did not know at the time just how much it would come to mean. We went back home and I began to experience severe headaches. Finally, I went to the emergency room to be treated one evening. Nothing major—really. They asked if anyone had gotten any pictures of my face. I said, "Why would anyone want pictures?" Of course, they meant x-rays not photos and no bones were broken.

Several nights later, while standing in our kitchen, I dropped to the floor. My family tried to rouse me unsuccessfully. They called 911 and just about the time everyone arrived I came around and was confused by all the people in our house. They insisted I go to the hospital to be examined. After hours of tests and observation they allowed me to go home attributing the problem to the hit I took to my head. They made certain to tell me that I was to return if I blacked out again. Fat chance…I thought. Never happened before—why would it happen again?

The next evening, while standing next to my husband, the phone ring and he went to answer it. That is the last thing I remember. Apparently I tumbled to the floor like a rag doll. My husband again called 911. They were unable to find any vitals. Two EMS crews worked to stabilize me before whisking me off to the hospital where I was unconscious for several hours.

When I finally regained consciousness it took a full day in the CCU to get my personal information straight. At times I was irked by all of the questions. I was very upset that they'd cut my special animal print pajamas off of me. But other than that, I experienced overwhelming peace. I had forgotten EVERYTHING, including my name, yet God was overseeing it all. "Abba, Father…Papa, God" kept His child.

"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

One of the women who attended the retreat came to visit the following afternoon. The first words out of her mouth were "you can ride this bike." Strangely enough, in my foggy state, I knew exactly what she meant. I would need that reminder in the days ahead as this would not be my last blackout experience. I've suffered many others yet my condition is not beyond the realm of God's healing touch.

We all experience trials. Each one of us is in training to become mature believers. This experience, is one of many, which has taught me the importance of continuing to pedal. I've learned that if I'll do my part, by not giving up, that I can trust God to do His. He'll be with me every step of the way, speaking words of encouragement, holding on to the seat until my training time is complete.

Whatever challenge you may be facing today, let me encourage you, with His help you can ride that bike!

Interview with Carol Kent

2010-10-01T16:48:00.000-07:00

Today I am sharing an interview with author Carol Kent whose newest book, Between a Rock and A Grace Place, is now available for purchase.

The book opens with a story about a Christmas gift that Carol received. You can read it in the free sample which is available here.

Between a Rock and A Grace Place focuses on finding grace in the midst of what might seemly be hopeless situations. Carol shares her own experiences as well as the stories of others.

The Kent's have been on an incredible journey since their son was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Their gleanings regarding grace in the hard places of life is very encouraging.

Here is more from Carol Kent about her latest book:

What are “grace places,” and how can hurting people in need find them?

All of us experience tight spots when life turns out differently from our dream. When we face the overwhelming obstacles of life, we can experience the last thing we ever expect—the sweet spot of grace.

Grace places have a variety of forms, but some include:

Receiving love when we don’t deserve it
Finding safety in the middle of a fearful and uncertain experience
Being comforted by friends and family (people who are extensions of God’s love)
Experiencing the embrace of God when we have run out of strength and courage

“Grace means the free, unmerited, unexpected love of God, and all the benefits, delights, and comforts which flow from it.” (R.P.C. Hanson)

How important are contentment and gratitude in finding grace and peace?

My son, Jason, is teaching me that I need to choose contentment and thanksgiving in all things. As an inmate in a maximum-security prison, all of his personal items must fit in one small one-foot-high and one-and a half-feet-deep and two-and-a half feet long steel lockbox. He has learned to live comfortably with very little, which brings him a surprising sense of peace.

When I was visiting him one weekend I asked how he holds on to hope in the middle of a life-without-the-possibility-of-parole sentence. He said, “Mom, I have a gratitude list. Whenever the clouds of depression try to discouragement, I get out a piece of paper and write down everything I have to be thankful for. I’m thankful I have two parents who will be my advocates for as long as they live. The average number of years a lifer gets visits is five years and then no one comes anymore. I’m also thankful I can be a missionary on a compound that houses up to 1,700 men.” I’m learning from Jason that I find contentment when I choose to be thankful and when I invest my time in helping other people.

What are some unexpected gestures of kindness you’ve received in the past, and how did they help you through difficult times?

A couple of years ago Jason’s appendix ruptured and he was rushed from the prison to a civilian hospital. Gene and I were not allowed to know where he was and I prayed for someone to care for him as a mother would. He had two armed guards in his room at all times. Nurse Betty was assigned to Jason’s care. She treated him with respect and extraordinary care—and I knew she was a direct answer to my prayers.

A group of people who called themselves our “Stretcher Bearers” received an e-mailed monthly update on how to help with our needs. We were blessed with meals, cards, and financial gifts, often just before we needed extra funds for the next legal payment. These amazing people waited with us for two and a half years through seven postponements of the trial.

Between a Rock and a Grace Place releases 10 years after your son, Jason, was sentenced to life in a maximum security prison and includes excerpts from Jason’s letters. Can you tell us how he’s doing now?

He has just taken his 8th group of men through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Course and he will be facilitating a biblical counseling class on marriage and family this fall. He has a prayer group of twelve inmates who fast and pray for the needs of each other and their families. Prison is a depressing, dark, and sad place, but Jason is living for things that will outlast him.

When you received news about Jason’s clemency hearing being denied, how did you respond?

I wailed like a baby, sobbed, felt angry, hurt, and disappointed in God. Then we saw Jason a day after this devastating news. He was calm and very much at peace. He hugged me as I wept and said, “Mom, this case isn’t about having the best attorney or about having the favor of Florida’s top executive political leaders. If I am ever allowed to walk in freedom in this lifetime, it will be because God miraculously opened a door that was closed.” My son helps me to develop an eternal perspective and that day he comforted me.

What advice do you have for those who are stuck between a rock and a grace place?

In the middle of your own hurt reach out to someone else who needs help worse than you do. When you involve yourself in meeting the needs of others, you discover an unexpected freedom on the inside. Corrie ten Boom once said, “What did you do today that only a Christian would have done?”

As a result of your journey, you and your husband have founded the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope. What are the goals of the organization, and how can people get involved?

Our vision: To help inmates and their families adjust to their new normal.

Our mission: We exist to provide hope to inmates and their families through encouragement and resources.

Please go to http://www.speakupforhope.org/ for a list of practical ways individuals, churches, and organizations can help with specific projects. Our goal is to live out the truth of Prov. 31:8-9: “Speak up for the people who have no voice, for the rights of all the down-and-outers. Speak out for justice. Stand up for the poor and destitute!”

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of Between a Rock and a Grace Place?

I would love for you to visit my web site at http://www.carolkent.org/, browse through the various events and other resources available. You may also join me on my Facebook page, please click here.

May review for this book will be posted separately. I highly recommend all of Carol Kent's books and suggest that you connect with her online! She's a phenomenal woman of God. I've learned a great deal from her transparent sharing.

[A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by Zondervan in exchange for posting this interview. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at http://www.christianspeakerservices.com/ for more information about blog tour management services.

Some Dreams Do Come True: Review of Her Daughter's Dream

2010-09-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Today I am sharing my review of Francine Rivers' latest book, Her Daughter's Dream, along with some information on the author. I hope that you will find it helpful and consider reading both books in the series. I've done my best to keep my thoughts very general so as not to spoil things for other Christian fiction lovers. It was an outstanding read.

The review:
Her Daughter's Dream, which is part two in the Marta's Legacy series, is the first book by Francine Rivers that I've had the pleasure of reading. A mere 20 pages into this 592 page fictional book I understood, without a doubt, why the author's work is award winning. It felt attached to me and vice versa. own.

Without being cumbersomely descriptive Her Daughter's Dream painted a vivid picture of a family saga which spanned four generations. To me, it felt much more like watching a movie than reading printed text. A great movie, I might add, with a heart-wrenching but powerful ending.

One of the strengths of this book is that it's main characters experience struggles which are common to many. It's not a far-fetched tale but a realistic story, taken in part, from the author's own family history. I found it emotionally engaging and was brought to tears on more than one occasion.

The message conveyed is one of hope and restoration. No matter where we have been or what we have gone through God has a plan to bring restoration to our lives spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. All He needs is someone who is willing to dream and able to believe.

I highly recommend Her Daughter's Dream and would love to read, part one of the series, Her Mother's Hope.

The author:
Francine Rivers began her literary career at the University of Nevada, Reno, where she graduated with a bachelor of arts degree in English and journalism. From 1976 to 1985, she had a successful writing career in the general market, and her books were highly acclaimed by readers and reviewers. Although raised in a religious home, Francine did not truly encounter Christ until later in life, when she was already a wife, a mother of three, and an established romance novelist.

Shortly after becoming a born-again Christian in 1986, Francine wrote Redeeming Love as her statement of faith. First published by Bantam Books and then re-released by Multnomah Publishers in the mid-1990s, this retelling of the biblical story of Gomer and Hosea, set during the time of the California Gold Rush, is now considered by many to be a classic work of Christian fiction. Redeeming Love continues to be one of the Christian Booksellers Association's top-selling titles, and it has held a spot on the Christian best-seller list for nearly a decade.

Since Redeeming Love, Francine has published numerous novels with Christian themes—all best sellers—and she has continued to win both industry acclaim and reader loyalty around the globe. Her Christian novels have been awarded or nominated for numerous honors, including the RITA Award, the Christy Award, the ECPA Gold Medallion, and the Holt Medallion in Honor of Outstanding Literary Talent. In 1997, after winning her third RITA Award for inspirational fiction, Francine was inducted into the Romance Writers of America's Hall of Fame. Francine's novels have been translated into over 20 different languages, and she enjoys best-seller status in many foreign countries, including Germany, the Netherlands, and South Africa.

Francine and her husband, Rick, live in northern California and enjoy time spent with their three grown children and taking every opportunity to spoil their grandchildren. Francine uses her writing to draw closer to the Lord, and she desires that through her work she might worship and praise Jesus for all He has done and is doing in her life.

To read the first two chapters of Her Daughter's Dream click here.

To purchase a copy of Her Daughter's Dream click here.

For an interview with the author click here.

To visit Francine Rivers website click here.

Her Daughter's Dream

2010-09-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today, I am featuring Francine Rivers' latest book, Her Daughter's Dream as part of the CSS Virtual Blog Tour.

I'll be posting my review in the next few days but can tell you that it is an outstanding book which I found nearly impossible to put down. When you get your hands on a copy, you'll be saying the very same thing.

Here is a description:

In the dramatic conclusion to the New York Times best seller Her Mother’s Hope, Francine Rivers delivers a rich and deeply moving story about the silent sorrows that can tear a family apart and the grace and forgiveness that can heal even the deepest wounds.
Growing up isn’t easy for little Carolyn Arundel. With her mother, Hildemara, quarantined to her room with tuberculosis, Carolyn forms a special bond with her oma Marta, who moves in to care for the household. But as tensions between Hildie and Marta escalate, Carolyn believes she is to blame. When Hildie returns to work and Marta leaves, Carolyn and her brother grow up as latchkey kids in a world gripped by the fear of the Cold War.

College offers Carolyn the chance to find herself, but a family tragedy shatters her newfound independence. Rather than return home, she cuts all ties and disappears into the heady counterculture of San Francisco. When she reemerges two years later, more lost than ever, she reluctantly turns to her family to help rebuild a life for her and her own daughter, May Flower Dawn.

Just like Carolyn, May Flower Dawn develops a closer bond with her grandmother, Hildie, than with her mother, causing yet another rift between generations. But as Dawn struggles to avoid the mistakes of those who went before her, she vows that somehow she will be a bridge between the women in her family rather than the wall that separates them forever.

Spanning from the 1950s to present day, Her Daughter’s Dream is the emotional final chapter of an unforgettable family saga about the sacrifices every mother makes for her daughter—and the very nature of unconditional love.

When interviewed about her series on mother-daughter relationships, which include Her Mother's Hope and Her Daughter's Dream, here is what the author, Francine Rivers shared:

Mother-daughter relationships are often complicated and fraught with emotional land mines. What was your approach to exploring the complexity of those relationships in a fictional setting?

Questions, lots of questions! Every time I told someone I was working on a book about mother-daughter relationships, people wanted to share their family stories. As I wrote Her Mother’s Hope, I wanted readers to see through each woman’s eyes, and understand how the past shaped each in the way she responded to her mother. Hildemara doesn’t believe her mother loves her, but it is out of Marta’s pain and loss that tough-love techniques were forged. Marta wants to strengthen her daughter for whatever lies ahead. Sometimes what we view as rejection can actually be an act of sacrificial love. We seldom know the experiences that shaped our mothers, the deep hurts, traumatic events, broken relationships. I hope women who read this book will want to share those things with one another.

Writing a novel is not for the faint of heart. What was the most difficult part of writing this family saga? What came the most naturally to you?

The most difficult part of writing any novel is getting out of my own way. I have to get rid of preconceived notions about themes and characters and plot. The first draft of this novel came in at over 1000 pages and was too biographical. I wanted the story to shift back and forth from present to past, trying to show what happened to create the rifts and valleys between Hildemara, Carolyn and May Flower Dawn. I was too cautious, too afraid to harm to my grandmother and mother’s memory.

A wonderful editor wrote me an insightful letter in which she listed what she wanted to know about each the characters. Her letter got my creative juices flowing. She helped me look at the story in a new way. I set the first manuscript aside and started over. I found it better to move from one generation to the next in a linear story. This time the characters followed my grandmother and mother’s timeline, but took on a life of their own. They became unique individuals rather than the shadow of real people.

After readers finish this series what do you want them to remember? What questions and feelings do you want it to provoke on a spiritual and emotional level?

I hope and pray readers who have had difficult relationships with their mothers or daughters will let go of the pain and anger and allow God to work in their lives. God can work all things together for good for those who trust and love Him. Following Jesus’ example changes the way we see people. It changes the way we relate to one another. Even when the chasm is too deep to cross, we can decide to forgive. Some people wear grievances like a dirty coat. With God’s strength, we can strip it off and be free. When people finish reading Her Daughter’s Dream, I hope they will want to extend God’s grace and forgiveness. I hope they will tear down their walls and use their life experiences to begin building a bridge.

Where may we connect with you further or to purchase a copy of HER DAUGHTER'S DREAM?

I would love for you to visit my web site at http://www.francinerivers.com/, browse through the various events and other resources available, as well as sign up for my mailing list. You may also join me on my Facebook page, please click here.

I'll be sharing my copy of Her Daughter's Dream with family and friends who are anxiously awaiting it. However, if you are interested in winning a copy please click here to enter the contest being held in conjunction with the CSS Virtual Blog Tour. They are giving four copies away. Hurry before they are gone.

Can't wait to start reading? You can also download the first two chapters of Her Daughter's Dream here.

[A complimentary copy of this book was provided to me as a blog tour host by the Tyndale House Publishers in exchange for posting this interview on my blog. Please visit Christian Speaker Services at http://www.christianspeakerservices.com/ for more information about blog tour management services.]

Good grief

2010-09-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

Losses--we all experience them along with the accompanying pain. They penetrate our lives in various forms and magnitudes with little or no warning. Some are short-lived while others lead to long seasons of suffering and grief.

Suffering and grief are something we are all familiar with. Yet, these two words are NOT typically "hot topics" in most Christian circles. As a matter-of-fact they are infrequently dealt with. I find that somewhat astonishing given the fact that 1,185 of the 1,189 chapters of the Bible, in some way, touch on the subject of suffering or death.

It is also confounding to see, with so much of Scripture dedicated to the subject, how frantically we search for ways to quickly dismiss grief. Whether we downplay our pain with positive platitudes or frantically numb it with a frenzy of activities the issue remains the same. We need a framework or "theology of suffering" to deal with our pain if we are to experience God's healing. Many believers do not have one.

In his latest book, God's Healing for Life's Losses, Dr. Robert Kellemen has penned a primer for sufferology that allows for such a framework to be constructed. While walking with the reader down the path of grief, which Kellemen is deeply and personally acquainted with, he offers something that has been sadly lacking--a Biblical approach that goes far beyond the traditional model. By going "the way of the Word", instead of the way of the world, this small but power-packed book gives the readers permission to grieve freely, in a biblical manner, while providing the necessary tools.

I was not at all surprised by the author’s ability to bring spiritual light to this subject but I must say that I was amazed by the masterful way in which he so carefully and compassionately unpacked the eight biblical steps or markers on the road to healing. With the precision of a surgeon he cuts to the "heart of the matter" removing infected notions and cancerous beliefs so that real healing can occur.

How do I know this? I experienced it personally. I must say, that I was not prepared for the impact that God’s Healing for Life’s Losses would have on my life. No stranger to loss, over the past few years, I've encountered grief of my own. I thought that I was handling it when in fact I was hiding from it. That is until the opportunity to review my friend’s book came along.

Upon receiving it, my plan was to: read it, do a short review, and move on. God had another plan. The book "read me" and as a result exposed my misconceptions concerning God and grief. It also caused me to review, at length, my relationship with God. Taking me on an unexpected path towards healing God's Healing for Life's Losses has become a real game-changer. It has continued to work in my life long after I put it down.

Having studied the subjects of suffering, grief, and loss over the years I’ve read countless books by an array of Christian writers and God’s Healing for Life’s Losses has surpassed them all. It is by far the most condensed and concise book on handling grief in a biblical manner that I’ve ever read. In my opinion it is also the most helpful.

I look forward to using it as a ministry tool and highly recommend it as a gift to all who are experiencing a loss of any kind. There is no way to adequately convey how much spiritual help is packed inside but if you read it I believe that you too will be amazed!

To read an extensive overview of God's Healing for Life's Losses click here or to enjoy an interview with the author click here.

To purchase God's Healing for Life's Losses click here.

To visit the Dr. Robert Kellemen's website click here.

God's Healing For Life's Losses

2010-08-09T17:21:00.000-07:00

Readers quickly grow weary of Christian books that pretend. They’re tired of Christian counselors and well-meaning friends who dispense far too much “happiness all the time, wonderful peace of mind.” They’re also gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word.

There has to be a better way. Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing. Jesus did. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses offers no pabulum, trite platitudes, false promises, pretending, or “easy steps.” It is real and raw as it enters into the abyss of suffering and empathizes with the gravity of grinding affliction. And, like the Apostle Paul, it deals simultaneously with grieving and hoping (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us. When it does, when the weight of the world crushes us, squeezes the life out of us, we need hope. New life. A resuscitated heart. A resurrected life with resurrected hope. God’s healing path is a personal journey. Dr. Kellemen uses God’s Word as the sufferers GPS: God’s Positioning System. He traces God’s pathway through grief to growth so that readers learn how to face their suffering face-to-face with God.

Written in “gift book” format for the person facing suffering, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes two built-in application/discussion guides (including a journal section). Perfect for individual or group use, persons suffering any type of life loss (job loss, illness, divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one) will benefit from the real-life wisdom they discover in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

Find Hope When Your Hurting—Biblically and Relevantly

You’re tired of quick quips (“Just trust God”) and false hopes (“Time heals all wounds”). You’re ready for real and raw, honest and hopeful conversation about suffering, loss, and grief—from a Christian perspective. You’re longing for real answers, for real people, with real struggles. You’ve come to the right place. When life’s losses invade your world, learn how to face suffering face-to-face with God. Learn how to journey:

From Denial to Candor: Blessed Are Those Who Mourn
From Anger to Complaint: A Lament for Your Loss
From Bargaining to Crying Out to God: I Surrender All
From Depression to Comfort: God Comes
From Regrouping to Waiting: When God Says “Not Yet”
From Deadening to Wailing: Pregnant with Hope
From Despairing to Weaving: Spiritual Mathematics
From Digging Cisterns to Worshipping: Finding God

About the author:

Robert W. Kellemen, Ph.D., LCPC: Dr. Kellemen has been married for twenty-nine years to his college sweetheart, Shirley. Shirley and Bob have two young adult children. Josh is twenty-five and married to Andi, and is in law school in Washington State. Marie is twenty-one and is a college senior at Purdue, majoring in chemistry, and lives at home with Bob and Shirley in Crown Point, Indiana.

Bob graduated with his BS in Pastoral Ministry from Baptist Bible College in Clarks Summit, PA. He earned his Th.M. in Theology and Biblical Counseling from Grace Seminary in Winona Lake, IN. He has his Ph.D. in Counselor Education from Kent State University. Dr. Kellemen is also a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC).

Dr. Kellemen pastored three churches in Ohio and Maryland. In two of those churches he was an Associate Pastor focused on counseling and equipping. He also served as a Sr. Pastor.

For over a dozen years, Dr. Kellemen was the Chairman of the Master of Arts in Christian Counseling and Discipleship Department at Capital Bible Seminary. He is now the Professor-at-Large for that program.

In his role as Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries, Bob writes, speaks, and consults about Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed biblical counseling and spiritual formation.

Dr. Kellemen is also the Executive Director of the Center for Church Equipping for the Association of Biblical Counselors. Additionally, he serves as the Launch Director for the new Biblical Counseling Coalition. Bob writes the biblical counseling book reviews for the Gospel Coalition. He also pens reviews on a wide variety of topics for Discerning Reader.

In all his spare time, Bob coaches high school wrestling, plays in a men’s softball league, runs daily, loves sci-fi, and is a life-long diehard Chicago Cubs fan.

To read an interview with the author on God's Healing For Life's Losses click here.

To read my review on God's Healing For Life's Losses click here.

To order your purchase your copy of God's Healing For Life's Losses visit RPM Ministries or click here.

God's Healing For Life's Losses Author Interview

2010-08-09T17:20:00.000-07:00

Dr. Robert Kellemen's latest book, God's Healing for Life's Losses presents a wonderful model for dealing with loss and grieving biblically.

This interview, with the author, provides a thorough synopsis of the book.
It is quite lengthy but well worth the investment of time. If you are dealing with loss or know someone who is Doc K's interview is sure to bring fresh light to the subject of grief and healing. It certainly has been life-changing for me to read the book in it's entirety and I'd venture to say it is the best book that I've ever read on the subject. After checking out this Q & A you'll understand why.

Here's the author with answers to questions regarding his book:

1. What’s the “big idea” behind God’s Healing for Life’s Losses? What would you like readers to take away from it?

In a biblical sentence: you can grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). God’s Healing for Life’s Losses gives readers permission to grieve and offers a pathway toward hope. I want people to see their suffering from God’s perspective without denying the reality that suffering still hurts. What would I like readers to take away? The title and subtitle say it best. I’d like readers to walk away with God’s healing hope.

2. What motivated you to write God’s Healing for Life’s Losses? Why did you choose to write this book?

My ministry to real people with real hurts motivated me to write God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. People quickly grow weary of Christian books that pretend. They’re tired of Christian counselors and well-meaning friends who dispense far too much “happiness all the time, wonderful peace of mind.” They’re also gravely disappointed when the answers to their questions about suffering reflect more of the wisdom of the world than of the truth of God’s Word. The purpose of the book, as the title and sub-title suggest, is to assist people on their grief and growth journey to find God’s healing hope in their hurts and losses.

Life is filled with losses. God’s Word is filled with compassionate wisdom to help us to find God in the midst of life’s pain. That’s ultimately my purpose in writing the book: to help people to find God even when they can’t find relief. God’s Healing for Life’s Losses offers no pabulum, trite platitudes, false promises, pretending, or “easy steps.” It is real and raw as it enters into the abyss of suffering and empathizes with the gravity of grinding affliction. And, like the Apostle Paul, it deals simultaneously with grieving and hoping (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

3. With all that’s going on in the world, why this book now? What’s unique about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?

Some grief books, even some authored by Christians, follow the world’s model of grieving—the typical denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance stage approach. They rarely seem to move beyond a “secular” way of looking at grief. Other Christian authors seem to minimize the grief and hurt, and attempt to race people quickly to healing hope. So we end up either with secular help or shallow help.

There has to be a better way. Christians long for an approach that faces suffering honestly and engages sufferers passionately—all in the context of presenting truth biblically and relevantly. We need to be able to face life’s losses in the context of God’s healing. Jesus did. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses deals honestly with the full range of human emotions—from a biblical perspective. We explore and journey together through four parts of the grief process: from denial to candor (honesty with self), from anger to complaint/lament (honesty with God), from bargaining/works to crying out to God, and from depression to comfort (finding God even when we can’t find relief). God’s Healing for Life’s Losses then journeys with people through four aspects of the growth process: waiting (when God says, “Not yet”), wailing (pregnant with hope), weaving (spiritual mathematics), and worshipping (finding God).

4. God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is the first book ever officially endorsed by GriefShare. Tell us about your connection with this organization.

GriefShare produces a small group video series used in thousands of churches across the world. It is a ministry of the larger group, Church Initiative, founded by Steve Grissom. Several years ago they updated their video series and asked me to participate. I connected with Steve and with their VP, Sam Hodges. When God’s Healing for Life’s Losses was in the first draft stage, Sam and Steve read it and got very excited. They both appreciated the combination of compassionate care that did not minimize the pain of suffering with the focus on Christ-centered, biblically-based hope. Sam graciously wrote a recommendation, Steve graciously penned an endorsement, and my publisher, BMH Books, and GriefShare agreed to have this book become the first book ever officially endorsed by GriefShare. It’s our joint prayer that the GriefShare video and God’s Healing for Life’s Losses could be used together to assist 1000s of churches and para-church groups as they minister to hurting people.

5. Who should read God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?

Sometimes the second we hear words like loss and grief, our minds focus exclusively on death and dying. God’s Healing for Life’s Losses focuses on any type of loss—from the grand loss of death, to the daily casket experiences of the loss of a job, the loss of a dream, the loss of a relationship… So anyone struggling with any life loss would benefit from reading God’s Healing.

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses also equips spiritual friends, pastors, and counselors. When we’re helping hurting people, it can get messy and confusing. A few “handles,” a few “road markers” on the journey sure would help. That’s what God’s Healing for Life’s Losses offers. It provides a “map” without becoming a straight-jacket. It suggests eight “directional markers” that become something of a GPS—God’s Positioning System—for the grief and growth journey.

God’s Healing for Life’s Losses examines Scripture relationally and practically so that helpers grow in their ability to explore passages with hurting people—and do so in a natural, loving, caring, skillful way. Also, the two built-in discussion/application guides benefit small group leaders—providing an ideal forum and format for candid discussions about grief, emotions, hurt, hope, healing, God’s purposes, and much more.

6. How will the grieving person benefit from reading God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?

I weave throughout each chapter three stories: my story of facing the death of my father, a ministry couple’s story of facing an unjust ministry termination, and biblical narratives of suffering people in the Scriptures. These combine to “normalize” the grief and growth process so readers understand that while their path is unique, it is not at all abnormal.

The “eight stage model” in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses helps readers to travel down the grief and growth path. We live in a fallen world and it often falls on us. When it does, when the weight of the world crushes us, squeezes the life out of us, we need hope. New life. A resuscitated heart. A resurrected life with resurrected hope. God’s healing path is a personal journey. God’s Healing for Life’s Losses uses God’s Word as the sufferers GPS: God’s Positioning System. It traces God’s pathway through grief to growth so that readers learn how to face their suffering face-to-face with God.

Written in “gift book” format for the person facing suffering, God’s Healing for Life’s Losses includes two built-in application/discussion guides (including a journal section). This makes it perfect for individual or group use. Persons suffering any type of life loss (job loss, illness, divorce, church conflict, the empty nest, death of a loved one) will benefit from the real-life wisdom they discover in God’s Healing for Life’s Losses.

7. What words of wisdom do you have for friends, counselors, and pastors of those who are suffering? How can we help?

There’s a tendency, on the one hand, for helpers to rush in quoting Romans 8:28 and telling Christ’s story before listening to their friend’s story. So helpers need to listen, however, that’s not in some “clinical, analytical” sense. We need to listen empathetically. We need to enter the pain, hurt, and grief of our hurting friends. Of course, that’s going to elicit pain for the helper. So they will need to be taking their hurt, pain, and grief to the Divine Comforter. That’s the message of 2 Corinthians 1:3-11—the only truly effective comforter is the person who consistently turns to the Spirit for His comfort.

There’s another tendency, on the other hand, for helpers never to share scriptural insight. In our wise desire not to be trite, we end up not offering much of any biblical wisdom. Paul got it right in 1 Thessalonians 2:8 when he said that because he loved them so much, he gave them not only the Scriptures but his own soul, because they were dear to him. We must give people both our souls and God’s Scripture. Truth and love must kiss. This doesn’t mean “preaching at people.” Rather, it involves the art of the “trialogue”—the helper, the person receiving help, and the Holy Spirit through God’s Word working together. It means having “spiritual conversations” where you ask sensitive, caring, timely questions that relate God’s Word to the sufferer’s life. It means engaging in “scriptural explorations” where you explore specific passages together and ask probing questions so that the person suffering can find biblical wisdom and comfort.

8. What are some of the questions God’s Healing for Life’s Losses answers for its readers?

One of the mindsets I highlight in the book is that we can find God even when we can’t find answers. So that makes me a tad hesitant to emphasize what “answers” readers will find. Maybe another way to put it is, “What are some of the questions that God’s Healing for Life’s Losses explores?”

We explore the age-old question of how a good God can allow evil and suffering. We examine the contrast between the world’s way of processing suffering and Christ’s way. We probe various purposes for suffering. We consider what suffering says about the character of God. We discuss what hope and healing really mean and look like. We ponder what is involved in truly grieving our losses and what is involved in grieving, but not as those who have no hope.

While there are no easy answers, a consistent point made by God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is that in suffering, God is not getting back at you; He is getting you back to Himself. Suffering opens our hands to God. It was Augustine who declared, “God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full—there is nowhere for Him to put it.” God loves us too much to allow us to forget our neediness. God makes therapeutic use of our suffering. Luther taught that suffering creates in the child of God a delicious despair. Suffering is God’s putrid tasting medicine of choice resulting in delicious healing. Healing medicine for what? For our ultimate sickness—the arrogance that we do not need God. Suffering causes us to groan for home and to live in hope. God refuses to allow us to get too comfy here. Instead, He allows suffering—daily casket processionals—to blacken our sun so we cry out to His Son. Suffering reminds us that we’re not home yet.

9. What’s the best way to help someone who doesn’t want to talk about his or her grief?

Of course, every person is unique and every situation is different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this practical question. If it’s early on in the grief process, then often the “power of presence” is very helpful—being there like’s Job’s counselors who did their best work when they were quiet.

If it’s later in the grief process and you sense that the person is in ongoing denial, then one of the most helpful things you can do is to share your own grief story. You begin to give them permission to grieve because they see that you gave yourself permission to do so. In a similar way, your own expressions of grief over their loss can also free the person to face their situation candidly.

Because people are unique, we also need to realize that not everyone faces their grief by talking a great deal about it—at least not to us. So we can invite the person to do what David did in Psalm 42:1-5 and “talk to themselves about their grief”—that’s the process of candor. And we can encourage them to talk to God about their grief—that’s the process of complaint/lament.

10. How does the Gospel inform the way that we care for people who are grieving?

I like to think of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses as a Christ-centered, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed approach to grief and growth. “Christ-centered” or “Gospel-centered” must take priority. There is no hope apart from Christ. There is no healing apart from Christ. And there’s no way to look at life with faith eyes, especially in the midst of painful, confusing circumstances, if we can’t look to the Cross. The Cross of Christ and the Christ of the Cross are the final proofs of God’s good heart for us. The Gospel declares the affectionate sovereignty of God. God is a Rewarder.

The Gospel takes us not only to the past work of Christ, but also to the future. We must read the end of the story where we discover that God wins! Good triumphs over evil. Hope over hurt. Healing over pain. The Gospel allows us to experience creative suffering and it is the Cross that empowers us to transform suffering. One of the consistent messages of God’s Healing for Life’s Losses is that sanctification—our increasingly likeness to Christ—is a primary reason God allows suffering. Suffering is our opportunity to know God better and to reflect Christ better. That’s creative suffering, that’s Gospel-centered grief and growth.

11. In God’s Healing, you contrast the world’s typical stages of grieving with God’s way. Review the typical five stages of grieving and share why you believe they are incomplete.

Students of human grief have developed various models that track typical grief responses. Swiss-born psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book On Death and Dying, popularized a five-stage model of grieving based upon her research into how terminally ill persons respond to the news of their terminal illness. Her five stages have since been used worldwide to describe all grief responses: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

These proposed stages in the grief process seek to track typical grief responses. However, they do not attempt to assess if this is what is best to occur. Nor could they assess, simply through scientific research, whether these responses correspond to God’s process for hurting (grieving) and hoping (growing). We must understand something about research in a fallen world. At best, it describes what typically occurs. It cannot, with assurance and authority, prescribe what should occur.

12. In a big picture way, contrast the world’s five stages with the biblical approach.

The first four stages in biblical grieving compare and contrast with the first four stages in the typical response to suffering. Stage One: Candor—Honesty with Myself: We move from denial and isolation to candor: honesty with ourselves. Stage Two: Complaint—Honesty with God: We move from anger and resentment to complaint: honesty with God. Stage Three: Cry—Asking for God’s Help: We move from bargaining and works to crying out to God: asking God for help. Stage Four: Comfort—Receiving God’s Help: We move from depression and alienation to comfort: receiving God’s help.

The fifth and final phase in the world’s grieving process: acceptance. The goal is to face calmly the finality of loss. If it is one’s own impending death, then it’s a time of quiet resignation. If it is the loss of a loved one, or a relationship, or a job, then it’s a time of regrouping. In Christ, loss is never final. Christ’s resurrection is the first-fruit of every resurrection. Acceptance can’t halt retreat because it has no hope for advancement, no foundation for growth. I refuse to accept the hopeless remedy of acceptance. So God’s Healing for Life’s Losses then journeys with people through four aspects of the growth process: moving from regrouping to waiting (when God says, “Not yet”), from deadening to wailing (pregnant with hope), from despairing to weaving (spiritual mathematics), and from digging cisterns to worshipping (finding God).

13. In your eight biblical stages of grief and growth you emphasize that they are a relational process, not sequential steps. What do you mean by that and why is it so important?
Grieving and growing is not a neat, nice package. It isn’t a tidy procedure. Grieving and growing is messy because life is messy. Moving through hurt to hope is a two-steps-forward, one-step-backwards endeavor. We don’t “conquer a stage” and never return to it. Rather than picturing a linear, step-by-step route, imagine a three dimensional maze with many possible paths, frequent detours, backtracking, and even the ability to reside in more than one “stage” at the same time. However, positive movement is possible. In fact, it is promised. You can find God’s healing for your losses. You can find hope in your hurt.

14. In the four stages of grieving, you use your own grief experience as an example. Tell our listeners about your grief story.

On my 21st birthday, I entered official adulthood not only because I turned 21, but also because my father passed away on my birthday. And for a year, I lived basically in denial—not really facing deeply the loss of my father. Then on my 22nd birthday, I began to move from denial to candor. I remember like it was yesterday—walking around the outskirts of the campus of Grace Seminary—telling myself the truth about how I felt, how I grieved the loss of my Dad. Over the course of that entire next year, I continued to move through the grief process. Again, walking the seminary campus, I had some long conversations with God. I lamented—I shared my heart about my hurt. During those times I cried out to God, acknowledging not only how much I missed my earthly father, but how much I longed for God as my heavenly Father. During those spiritual conversations I began to find God’s comfort—His hope in my hurt. I tell it now like it was a nice neat process, but at the time it was anything but. God and I had some messy, real, and raw conversations. I prayed my feelings to God. I wept. I surrendered. I asked God for comfort and He came.

15. In your first stage, you walk with your readers on a journey from denial to candor. What is candor, why is it so important, and how can Christians practice it?

Research informs us that people’s typical first response to loss is denial. When suffering first hits; when we first hear the news of the unexpected death of a loved one; when we’re told that we’ve been fired; we respond with shock. We can’t believe it. Life seems unreal. Denial is a common initial grief response. I believe that this initial response can be a grace of God allowing our bodies and physical brains to catch up, to adjust. However, after a necessary period of time, long-term denial is counter-productive. More than that, it is counter to faith, because true faith faces all of life.

God’s Word offers us profound practical wisdom for moving from denial to candor. Candor is courageous truth telling to myself about life in which I come face-to-face with the reality of my external and internal suffering. In candor, I admit what is happening to me and I feel what is going on inside me.

God invites His children to be brutally honest about life. David practices candor in Psalm 42:3-5. “My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’ These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” The Apostle Paul does not tell us not to grieve; he tells us not to grieve without hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). He chooses a Greek word meaning to feel sorrow, distress, and grief, and to experience pain, heaviness, and inner affliction. Paul is teaching that grief is the grace of recovery because mourning slows us down to face life. No grieving; no healing. Know grieving; know healing.

16. In your second stage, you move with your readers from anger to complaint. Christians aren’t comfortable with a word like “complaint.” What do you mean by that and why is it biblical and necessary?

Anger is the typical “second stage” in the world’s grieving journey. Forsaking denial, the truth sinks in. Something bad, horrific has occurred. We’ve lost something or someone dear to us. Our loss frustrates our desires and blocks our goals. It ticks us off. We’re mad. We want to lash out. At life. At the world. At . . . God. This is where grief gets very confusing for the committed Christian. We love God; we know He loves us. We know God is good; we know life has now turned bad. So we want to know, sometimes we want to scream it, “How could a good God allow such evil and suffering!?” But dare we ask? Do we dare verbalize our complaint, our lament to God? The Scriptures are clear—God invites lament, complaint. The Bible repeatedly illustrates believers responding to God’s invitation with honest words that would make many a modern Christian shudder.

I know what you’re thinking. “Didn’t God judge the Israelites for complaining?” There are different words and a distinct context between the sinful complaint of the Israelites in Numbers and the godly complaint/lament of Job, the Psalmists, Jeremiah, and many others. Biblical complaint complains to God about the fallen world. Ungodly complaint complains about God and accuses Him of lacking goodness, holiness, and wisdom.

In candor we’re honest with ourselves; in complaint we’re honest to God. Complaint is vulnerable frankness about life to God in which I express my pain and confusion over how a good God allows evil and suffering. We needlessly react against the word “complaint.” “Christians can’t complain!” we insist. Yet numerically, there are more Psalms of complaint and lament than Psalms of praise and thanksgiving. Complaints are faith-based acts of persistent trust. They are one of the many moods of faith. Psalm 91’s exuberant trust is one faith mood while Psalm 88’s dark despair is another faith mood. A mood of faith trusts God enough to bring everything about us to Him. In complaint we hide nothing from God because we trust His good heart and because we know He knows our hearts. The biblical genre of complaint expresses frankness about the reality of life that seems inconsistent with the character of God. Complaint is an act of truth-telling faith, not unfaith. Complaint is a rehearsal of the bad allowed by the Good. When we complain, we live in the real world honestly, refusing to ignore what is occurring. Complaint is our expression of our radical trust in God’s reliability in the midst of real life.

17. In your third stage, you trace a process from bargaining to crying out to God. What does that look like in the grieving process?

The typical third stage of the grief journey moves from denial, to anger, and then to bargaining and works. The dying people that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross interviewed entered into spoken and unspoken bargains with God. They believed that God would reward them for their good behavior and grant them special favors. Bargaining attempts to control and manipulate God. That’s why it’s so vital to move from bargaining and works to cry—crying out to God for help.

Cry is a faith-based plea for mobilization in which I humbly ask God for help based upon my admission that I can’t survive without Him. Crying is reaching up with open palms and pleading eyes in the midst of darkness and doubt. Psalm 56:8 teaches that we pray our tears and God collects them in His bottle. Psalm 72:12 assures us, “For he will deliver the needy who cry out” (KJV—when he crieth). Psalm 34 reminds us, “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-18). Crying empties us so there is more room in us for God. David wept until he had no strength left, but then he found strength in the LORD (1 Samuel 30:6). His cry, his confession of neediness, summoned God into action—supportive action.

Suffering is God’s primary way of uprooting our self-reliance and complacency. He uses suffering to gain our attention. Suffering is a slap in the face, the shock of icy water, a bloodied nose; meant to snatch our attention. Crying out to God is our admission that God has our attention, that God has us.

18. In your fourth stage, you discuss moving from depression to comfort. What is comfort and what is God’s role in that process and what is our role?

In stage four, our journey leads us either to depression due to alienation and separation from God and others, or to finding comfort through communion with God and connection with God’s people. For those who do not turn to Christ, the grief process moves from denial, to anger, to bargaining/works, and then to depression. For those who cling to Christ, for those who grieve with hope, the journey moves from candor, to complaint/lament, to crying out to God, and then to comfort. Comfort experiences the presence of God in the presence of suffering—a presence that empowers me to survive scars and plants the seed of hope that I will yet thrive. At the end of sustaining, I’m not necessarily thriving. More likely, I’m limping, but at least I’m no longer retreating.

Jacob’s wrestling match with God certainly illustrates comfort. Recall the context. Jacob is terrified that his brother Esau will kill him. In self-sufficiency, Jacob plans and plots ways to manipulate Esau into forgiving him. Then, at night Jacob encounters God. He wrestles God throughout the night until God overpowers Jacob by dislocating his hip. In response, “Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, ‘It is because I saw God face-to-face, and yet my life was spared’” (Genesis 32:30).

Jacob shows us that tenacious wrestling with God results in painful yet profitable comfort through communion. As the sun rose, Jacob was limping. He looks up and there’s Esau. Jacob limps up to Esau and, with the pain of his dislocated hip, bows down to the ground seven times. Imagine the excruciating pain. Each time he bows down pain shoots through his crippled body. Then Jacob receives from Esau an embrace instead of a dagger. He faced his fear, still wounded and scarred, but surviving. God humbled Jacob, weakened him, and in the process strengthened him.

19. In your fifth stage, you talk about waiting on God. That can be excruciating. What is that process like and how can it lead to growth while grieving?

Think about the fifth and final phase in the world’s grieving process: acceptance. The goal is to face calmly the finality of loss. If it is one’s own impending death, then it’s a time of quiet resignation. If it is the loss of a loved one, or a relationship, or a job, then it’s a time of regrouping. “Life has to go on, somehow. How? What’s next?” You’re in a casket. Finally, you’ve come face-to-face with death and with utter human hopelessness. Do you want to stay there? No! Frantic to escape? Yes! You cry out to God for help. What’s He say? “Wait.” Now you’re at a faith-point. “I trust Him; I trust Him not. I’ll wait; I’ll not wait.” Which will it be? Will you wait or regroup? Will you wait on God or will you self-sufficiently depend upon yourself?

Hope waits. Hope is the refusal to demand heaven now. Waiting is trusting God’s future provision without working to provide for myself. Waiting is refusing to take over while refusing to give up. Waiting refuses self-rescue. In waiting, we cling to God’s rope of hope, even when we can’t see it. In biblical waiting, we neither numb our longings nor illegitimately fulfill them.

Faith looks back to the past recalling God’s mighty works saying, “He did it that time; He can do it now.” Hope looks ahead remembering God’s coming reward saying, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed” (Romans 8:18-19, emphasis added). In the context of grief, waiting through delayed gratification says, “I want to feel better. I wish things were the way they once were. But I trust God’s good heart. I know one day He will wipe away all tears. I know today He has good plans for my life ahead.” Instead of viewing God as our Genie in a bottle or as our Butler at our beck and call, we yield to, trust in, and wait upon God as our Father of holy love.

20. In your sixth stage, you contrast deadening pain with what you call “wailing.” That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. What does it involve and how does it help us to find hope when we’re hurting?
When we cry out to God, He promises His comfort. However, He does not promise “quick answers.” He is a “time God.” He does not come before time. He does not come after time. He comes at just the right time. And . . . He comes in His way for His glory and our good. So, when His timing and our timing are light years apart; we wait. We resist the temptation to regroup and to fix things on our own. But let’s be honest, that brings more pain. We’re then tempted to deaden the pain we feel as we wait for God’s healing hope. That’s why in “stage” six of the grieving and growth process we must move from deadening our pain to wailing: groaning with hope.

It is through wailing that we stay alive to life even when it tries to crush us to death. By wailing, I don’t mean weeping as in the candor, complaint, or cry of sustaining, though weeping often accompanies wailing. Wailing is longing fervently for heaven and living passionately for God and others while still on earth. Paul personifies wailing in Philippians 1:23-25. “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of your for your progress and joy in the faith.” Paul neither deadens his longing for heaven nor minimizes his calling on earth. Wailing is longing, hungering, thirsting, and wanting what is legitimate, what is promised, but what we do not have. It is grieving the “not yet” without giving up on the “now.”

And what’s the result? Weak, mournful surviving? No way! The result is thriving. In Romans 8:28-39, Paul insists that even in the midst of trouble, hardship, persecution, and suffering, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. He teaches that in all our suffering we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us so. “More than conquerors” comes from the Greek word nikao from which we gain our word “Nike”—victors, winners, Olympic champions. Wailing empowers us to long ardently for heaven and to live victoriously on earth. Wailing moves us from victims to victors in Christ.

21. In your seventh stage, you move with your readers from despair to weaving in God’s truth. How does seeing life from God’s perspective bring God’s healing to life’s losses?

If we attempt to handle our loss without Christ, then we despair. We doubt. We give up any hope of ever making life work, of ever figuring out the mystery of life, or of ever completing the puzzle. We trudge on in doubt, despair, and darkness. Despair is the negative of hope. That’s the world’s typical response. It is not God’s healing path. In God’s growth voyage we move from regrouping to waiting (stage five), from deadening to wailing (stage six), and from despairing to weaving (stage seven)—perceiving with grace.

Biblical weaving is entrusting myself to God’s larger purposes, good plans, and eternal perspective. I see life with spiritual eyes instead of eyeballs only. I look at suffering, not with rose colored glasses, but with faith eyes, with Cross-eyes, with 20/20 spiritual vision.

Weaving involves grace math that teaches us that present suffering plus God’s character equals future glory. The equation we use is the Divine perspective. From a Divine faith perspective on life, we erect a platform to respond to suffering. How we view life makes all the difference in how we respond to life’s losses. Martin Luther understood this. “The Holy Spirit knows that a thing only has such value and meaning to a man as he assigns it in his thoughts.” Luther beautifully portrays the God-perspective that prompts healing. “If only a man could see his God in such a light of love . . . how happy, how calm, how safe he would be! He would then truly have a God from whom he would know with certainty that all his fortunes—whatever they might be—had come to him and were still coming to him under the guidance of God’s most gracious will.”

As you respond to your loss, are you struggling to believe that God has a good heart? Look to the Cross. The Cross forever settles all questions about God’s heart for us. The Christ of the Cross is the only One who makes sense of life when suffering bombards us.

22. In your eighth and final stage, you move your readers to worshipping God. You make the profound point that the ultimate goal of healing is finding God even if we don’t find relief. Tell us more about that.

Now we’re ready to map God’s grieving and growth process one final time. Your path toward God during suffering also begins with the casket of loss. Finding your self in that casket, you’ve been waiting on God, wailing out to God, and weaving together His good plans from His good heart. Rather than turning to false lovers who tame your soul, you now turn to your untamed God who captures your soul. You worship God. In the midst of life’s losses, yes you can choose worship—engaging God with love, which leads to ministry—engaging others with God’s love.

“Worship” is such a common word. But what is worship really? Specifically, in the midst of grief, what does worship look like? Let’s start with some subtle contrasts. In crying, you cry out for God’s help. In worship, you cry out for God. In comfort, you receive God’s strength. In worship, you receive God. In wailing, you long for heaven because you’re tired of earth. In worship, you long for God because you miss Him. In weaving, you glimpse God’s perspective. In worship, you glimpse the face of God. So what is worship in the context of suffering? Worship is wanting God more than wanting relief. Worship is finding God even when you don’t find answers. Worship is walking with God in the dark and having Him as the light of your soul.

The Bible consistently invites us to worship God in the midst of suffering. Worship as the end result of suffering has always been the testimony of God’s people. Asaph, reflecting on his suffering, concludes, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you” (Psalm 73:25). Suffering’s ultimate goal is worship: exalting and enjoying God as our Spring of Living Water—our only satisfaction and our greatest joy.

23. How can people learn more about God’s Healing for Life’s Losses?

On my website people can find and download a free sample chapter of the book. Also at my website, people can order the book at 33% off. Additionally, I offer seminars around the country on God’s Healing for Life’s Losses. People can find my speaking schedule at the website. If a church or para-church group is interested in seeing if I could speak for their group, they can contact me at rpm.ministries@gmail.com.

To read a general overview of God's Healing for Life's Losses click here.

To read my review of God's Healing for Life's Losses click here.

To purchase a copy of God's Healing for Life's Losses visit RPM Ministries or click here.

Shades of Morning Review

2010-07-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

I recently read Marlo Schalesky's book Shades of Morning. My review can be found here.

Flashbacks

2010-05-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

Flashbacks, we all have them. Some are more pleasant than others. I’ve experienced enough in the past week to comprise a full length movie. However it wouldn’t be very entertaining. My sleep has been plagued by unwelcome reminiscing of the last days spent with my Dad. My dreams have been disturbing when I’ve been able to sleep. All in all it’s safe to say that losing people is traumatic no matter what the scenario.

Sometimes I find blogging to be an outlet. This is one of those times. I could share with you about my Dad’s fall. Or recount the long days and nights spent on the trauma unit. I could talk about the last moments of his life. They are a part of a tape that often chooses to replay itself in my mind.

But thankfully they’re only a part.

That is why on this day, which marks the 4th year of my Dad’s departure from this life, I’d like to share, not about how he died, but about the way he lived. I’ll bypass his birth and early years and get right to the “good stuff” because he was truly an amazing man.

His memorial service, which ended up being strangely enjoyable, was a joint venture. My siblings and I planned it together. There was far much more laughter than tears as we shared from our fondest memories. I can only hope that when my time comes the people who know the lighter side of me will help plan my wake. I’m pretty certain my Dad was laughing in the portholes of glory.

I remember my pastor chuckling, on the platform sitting next to me, when the song “Cry, Cry, Cry” by Johnny Cash began playing. He learned things that day he never knew about the quiet man who handed bulletins out, with great pride, on Sunday mornings.

Afterwards he told me that he wished he’d have known all of those things while my Dad was alive as they would have made great sermon fillers. I laughed and reminded him of the time that my Dad had announced, in the midst of serious speculation as to why my hubby had fallen asleep at the wheel, that he was pretty sure Greg had been drinking. Of course he made sure to add that when I found the bottle he’d be happy to take it off my hands. I shrank about an inch in embarrassment, as he breezed out the front door chuckling, but quickly recovered as by then I was used to it.

That was my Dad. Totally authentic and unashamed. We never knew just what he might say or do. On occasion his actions made us cry but more often they provided comic relief. Unfortunately I’ve lost the file which had the collection of interesting facts we shared about him at his service. That’s ok because there were plenty that we left out.

I’ll share a few with you that often make me smile:

• Duct tape. My Dad loved it. He used it for almost everything including the rips in his work pants. Never one to invest in patches, he just taped the holes shut. He taped a lot of other things, too. And from time to time threatened to tape our mouths shut if we interrupted his television programs. Fortunately he never followed through. If duct tape failed to do the job there was always super-glue. It’s hard to say how many times he glued his teeth back onto his partial with it.

• Boxer shorts. We made it our life’s mission to find the flashiest boxers for him. Much of that was due to the habit Dad had of strolling through the kitchen, towards the bedroom, after his evening shower clad only in boxer shorts. It mattered not who was present. Many times our friends and or neighbors were visiting when Dad flashed his boxers. Of course it was more noticeable because of the little ditty he always sang as he walked by. And if that wasn’t enough all summer long they hung out of the legs of his shorts. He was a fashion disaster with his boxers hanging out, the white tube socks he insisted on wearing with sandals, and simply didn’t care. On special occasions he'd cast aside the sandals for a pair of "willie shoes." There were $5 K-mart slip-ons. When they got holes in them he'd make them his work shoes. It was often difficult to distinguish between the two--but we never let on.

• Music. We’ve come to the conclusion that our Dad knew every song ever written. His taste in music varied but he had a song for everything. It was not unusual for him to overhear one of us complaining and start singing “Cry, Cry, Cry.” Songs with stories were his favorite because they gave him a lot of material to work with. For instance when he was being nagged his retort might be something like “why’s everybody always picking on me.” Not said but sung along with the rest of the tune. Goodbyes came in the form of “Hit the Road Jack” and our romantic heart breaks were soothed by him something like Neil Diamond’s “Love on the Rocks.” If we had a dollar for every time Dad startled one of us as he burst out in song all of our mortgages would be paid in full.

• Sayings. My Dad had a boatload of sayings ranging from “honey, kiss me my tonsils itch” to “don’t make me knock out your running lights” to “you make a better door than a window.” At times it was difficult to keep a straight face when experiencing his unique form of discipline. I’m sure each of us had some clever retorts running through our mind but we kept those to ourselves most of the time.

• Mannerisms. When my Dad got angry his eyelids would flutter. If he got really mad his nostrils would flare. If that happened it was time to vacate the premises. Also, he sort of danced when he walked, which was obviously due to all the singing he did.

Many of my Dad’s antics were confined to the home or car. In public he was a quiet man--most of the time. I do recall a few occasions when I wanted to find something to crawl under. Like the time he offered one of the referees his glasses during my son’s baseball game. Or when he told the woman who ran over his foot in the grocery aisle that if she would have “beeped her horn” he would have gotten out of the way.

He also took signs very seriously, especially, if they promised prompt service. At the doctor’s office he’d watch the clock and when 20 minutes passed he let them know. If another 20 minutes went by he was more emphatic. More than once they stick him in a room so he would not start a revolution. He was a punctual person and expected others to be the same. Unfortunately, I did not inherit that trait.

Here’s a short list of some other things that I recall about my Dad:

• He was a terrible driver who thought everyone else was the problem.

• He had a short fuse but got over things quickly.

• He was very self-depreciating. (sometimes funny & sometimes not)

• He was extremely regimented. You could set your clocks by him.

• He worked hard and never played hooky.

• He attended all of my band concerts and other musical functions.

• He was a man of his word. If he said he was going to do it then you could take it to the bank.

• He was handy. From cars to plumbing there was no job he would not tackle.

• He loved sweets and falsely accused us kids of devouring them when it was really him.

• His hugs were very tight.

• He was a good judge of character.

• He listened for hours to our attempts at playing music of any kind.

• He was a baby magnet.

• He adored his grandchildren.

• He loved his wife and kids.

• He laughed a lot and cried more often than people knew.

• He was proud of his loved ones and, with a quivering lip, did not hesitate to tell them so.

I could go on forever and ever but this is supposed to be a blog not a book. I assume that it is evident by now that my Dad was far more than a father. He was one of my best friends. When he did give me advice he was right on. If I needed help he was there. When I was down he’d offer words, be they ever so quirky, to lift me up. One year he sent me a card on “Friend Day.” I still have it. Although he was an unpredictable man, at times, without a doubt he was always there for me, for us, and for others.

And speaking of others, there were two young girls at our church that he was particularly fond of. He shopped for them on special occasions and kept a special stock of candy for them. When they heard that he had died they went to the principal at their school asking for a moment of silence in honor of their “best friend.” We were moved by that story and could all relate to it.

These past four years have been difficult. Just ten days before my Dad’s accident we had purchased condos to be built side-by-side. We already lived in the same neighborhood but were about to move even closer. We attended the same church where he greeted me, with compliments and kisses, every week. Completely spoiled by this man, who was by far one of my greatest fans, it's difficult adjusting to life without him. A life that is temporary, if you’ve read my other post on death, but forever changed.

A few weeks ago I woke up crying after a vivid dream. My heart ached and I felt depressed but was determined not to allow it to set the tone for the day. For some reason cleaning is therapeutic for me so I set about to do a bit of tidying up before going out to take pictures.

In the middle of dusting the song “Butterfly Kisses” began playing on my iPod. It has great sentimental value to me. As a girl my Dad often put me to bed. We went through a routine of eskimo kisses, butterfly kisses, and ended with a great big smooch. He’d always tell me not to let “The Sandman get me” on his way out the door. For years I searched for The Sandman under my bed.

Some time ago he sent me a gift book related to the song. Normally I skip past it but that day I let it play. I cried, ok I sobbed, and then at the end of the song said this “Dad, I know I’ve got to let you go. I’m trying but it’s hard. I just want you to know I’ll always remember your love in the morning and butterfly kisses at night.”

And. I. Will.

Death...technically speaking

2010-05-15T01:16:00.001-07:00

As I write this post a death is occurring. Cradled in my lap, growing weaker and more dim with each passing moment, is my Sony Vaio notebook. Oh how attached we’ve become over the years. We’ve been through thick and thin together.

Don’t look at me that way. You know that our computers grow on us like appendages whether we care to admit it or not. Much like the brains inside our heads they retrieve, store, and catalog our thoughts. Some become mouthpieces by which we communicate facts and feelings.

We’ve done all that we can to revive her but, technically speaking, its quite obvious that her days are numbered. Kind of sad especially since some parts of her have aged so well. It’ll be hard to let her go even though her quality of life has been less than satisfactory for quite some time. But then again I’ve found that to be true of most who are dying.

And technically speaking, when I think about it, we’re all dying. Truthfully that thought does not cross my mind every day. If it did I’d probably live more purposefully. It just so happens that May is a unique month which causes me to reflect upon death more than usual.

Let me explain because it wasn’t always this way.

Once upon a time I reveled in the blossoms and colors of spring. That was before the month of May marked three anniversaries. Now when the calendar rolls around to the last day of April a sense of dread hovers over me like a dark ominous cloud. I can’t wait for May to be over and June to arrive.

Perhaps you find that confusing. Aren’t anniversaries a time for celebration? Normally my answer would be yes. But these occasions are a bit different because they mark the deaths of three people I dearly loved: my father-in-law, my Dad, and my best friend.

My father-in-law died quite a fews back, my Dad four years ago, and my friend this time last year. Some say it’s not normal to grieve this long or hard. Perhaps that is true. I’m uncertain that there are any hard fast rules when it comes to dealing with loss and the changes that it brings.

It’s possible that my grief has been compounded by the fact that I was with all three of these people when they died. That has a tendency to etch certain details in one's mind. I also spoke at their “home-going services." Some people call them funerals but I like to think of them as memorials or home-going celebrations. Just my personal preference since they were all believers. There was joy in the midst of the pain. We knew where they’d gone and that we’d see them again.

It’s basically just a matter of WHEN. After all, we’re all dying, technically speaking. When viewed in the light of eternity that thought isn’t really morbid or morose it’s more of a spiritual truth to be embraced.

“Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.” II Corinthians 4:16b NLT

I find comfort in the fact that at some point and time, determined by God alone, I’ll be united again with those whose absence in my life has left a gaping holes that are much like open wounds.

It takes the sting out death.

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” I Corinthians 15:55

But it does not make the loss much less painful.

Some days offer a slap of reality that brings a dull ache. Other days, like special occasions, bring gut punches that result in inexplicable agony. On those days, when the wind is literally knocked out of me by songs I hear, stories I wish I could share, events I’d always dreamed we’d be attending together—I remember.

Death.Is.Not.The.End.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died.” I Thessalonians 4:13-15 NLT

And I find hope in the midst of despair. Comfort in my sorrow. Joy in spite of sadness. Peace amidst the symphony of words that as of yet remain unspoken. Unspoken because no matter when a person leaves, or how much preparation we’ve had, there is never enough time to say all that needs to be said. Never enough time to do all we’d planned to do.

Not in these mortal bodies.

That’s one of the reasons death is a part of life. Without it there is no immortality. And without immortality there is no hope.

I never dreamed that the Scripture I read at my father-in-law’s memorial service would be something that I would cling to so dearly. Throughout the Word I find hope in so many places it’s impossible to list them all.

Yet in grief I find myself often returning to I Thessalonians 4:13-15 and I remember that technically we’re all dying and that dying is not the end but rather the beginning of forever.

Some days it seems like forever since my loved ones died. Other days it seems like I’ll forever feel the pangs of missing them. In reality heaven is only a heartbeat away.

As a parting message, my friend had pre-arranged to have framed art presented to each of her family members at the graveside. The words said "This is not goodbye just see you later." How true.

The scene came flooding back to me recently and caused me to ask God to help me process my pain and, at the same time, not miss the opportunities with those who remain.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s very important that I don’t spend so much time living in past memories that I neglect making new ones. It is alright to gaze but there’s no time to graze because when it’s all said and done precious moments are what we cling to. They help us to get by until we are reunited again.

Technically speaking we are well on our way so I prayerfully concede these anniversary dates. It’s not possible to change them but it is highly probable that God can help change the way I view them. He’s already doing so and, in light of eternity, there is a wonderful future awaiting me, But there is also the gift of life which needs to be embraced here and now.

As someone once wisely said "that’s why they call it the present."

Praying It Forward

2010-04-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

I still remember when I saw the movie Pay It Forward a decade ago. A few of the details escape me, but the premise of the story was forever ingrained in my heart and mind.

Kindness.

Randomly given.

Seeking nothing in return.

Keeping the cycle going.

Infusing good into the world three acts at a time.

What a concept.

It is interesting how quickly the inspiration we receive from movies, books, sermons, or teaching evaporates against the cold black night of a dark world.

Heartaches come.

Life happens.

People are mean and hateful.

It doesn't take long before we are begin battening down the hatches and withdrawing from those who need our kindness most in an attempt of self-preservation.

When we find it may cost more than we feel we can invest to pay it forward what once sounded easy suddenly seems much more difficult, risky, and frightening.

I believe that the enemy paints a terrifying picture by allowing us to experience rejection or pain, from time to time, so that we will be swayed in our desire and attempts to perform random acts of kindness.

Why?

Because when we pay it forward we are essentially showing the love of Christ.

The way that He did.

To the unlovable.

The misplaced.

Some maladjusted.

Desperately needy people.

Paying it forward has basically been a way of life for me. Not because I am ultra-kind or super spiritual but because I genuinely enjoy helping people in any way possible.

It brings me joy and fulfillment along with the satisfaction of knowing that my works have the possibility to be viewed as Jesus' hand extended. That part has always thrilled me most. At least until I woke up one day and made an alarming discovery.

The thrill is gone.

For quite some time I have been exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I've conquered many things in my life but before me stands "a mountain" like none I've seen before.

I can't see over it.

There appears to be no road around it.

I'm unable to tunnel through it.

When push comes to shove, and trust me I've been pushing and shoving hard, it seems that the only place that I'm going is down. That makes the mountain appear larger while my faith seems even smaller.

But it only takes the faith of a mustard seed.

Can I muster that up? No.

Is God capable of stirring up the measure of faith that He placed in me? Absolutely.

This past week I wrote an article on a festival that is taking place in our community next weekend. It caught my eye while doing a "random" search that needless to say was ordained by God.

The Pay It Forward Festival would not normally attract my attention especially since I have no young children at home. But there were three things about it that immediately caught my eye:

1. They are attempting to collect 3,000 pair of shoes for Soles4Souls.

I love shoes and have not been able to wear a pair of shoes in almost 14 years. I know what it is like to have pain in my feet 24/7. Prior to my illness I worked for a shoe company and developed quite a shoe fetish. So shoes are near and dear to me and I love the Soles4Souls foundation.

2. They are collecting money for the MS Society.

Several years ago, after 11 years of speculation, I was diagnosed with primary progressive MS. The good news is that the progression of my illness is fairly slow compared to some. The bad news is there is no approved treatment for this type of MS which makes the long term prognosis poor. Needless to say this is another endeavor which is close to my heart. I'd love for the MS Society to find a cure.

3. They are collecting money for The Well which is a local food bank.

I've never lived a life of poverty or been without the means to obtain food, clothes or shelter. However illness, at times, has robbed me of the ability to eat. I've experienced feeding tubes and felt the pangs of hunger on an abbreviated basis. It is no fun. As a way of life, I can't begin to imagine it.

Those are only 3 of 6 charitable organizations that the festival will be raising money for. Relying solely on the merchants of the community the goal is to pay it forward and at the same time provide fun for families.

Admission cost: a pair of gently worn shoes or a canned good item.

Who can't afford to attend?

Who can afford not to attend if they live in the area?

Here is the interesting part for me, personally. My energy level has been so low that I don't know why I even considered attending this event. It is difficult for me to navigate crowds, in a cast on crutches, even when I have the strength of a bull.

Right now it is unthinkable.

Yet I found myself writing to ask permission to photograph the event to use for a follow-up article on Examiner.com. The person was thrilled that I had written the initial article and elated about me coming with my camera. Although I made no mention of it, he asked me if I would open the event with prayer.

How could I refuse?

It's only a prayer, right?

I talk to God all the time.

I'll just be talking to Him out loud.

It's not like I haven't done that hundreds of times before.

The surprise and thrill initially felt when I received the invitation began to dissipate a day later when I realized it meant I would have to "come out of hiding" which is something I've nearly mastered over the past year. (some would argue that it has been even longer)

Then it dawned on me that I had not prayed publicly since I spoke at the funeral of my best friend nearly a year ago. As a matter of fact I've done very little publicly since that time. Little fellowship. Little fun. Little living---period.

I realized that I had stopped paying it forward since the night I stayed at the hospital with my friend. A wonderful example of Christ she was such a source of encouragement to me. She and her husband have dedicated their lives to paying it forward.

During an over-nighter at the hospital we were talking one moment and then she slipped off to heaven, in the blink of an eye, while I turned to make a phone call. My heart was broken and my mind was blown. I felt tricked and abandoned.

It was costly.

Extremely painful.

Life-altering.

Once the funeral was over I returned home feeling an incredible sense of loss.

The thrill was gone.

I still helped people, mostly online, but out of compulsion rather than out of joy. It has been fairly risk-free, impersonal, and unfulfilling.

But holding back kindness displayed lovingly has been costly, extremely painful, and life-altering, too.

It has not worked as I had hoped.

It has not healed.

It has injured me further and left me feeling abandoned by many--including God.

That is until the other day when a simple article prompted a chain of events that caused me to realize two things:

1. It is easier to give than withhold.

2. I'll always be a minister and a representative of Christ.

With that in mind next Saturday, despite pain in my body or reservations in my mind, I will go and pay it forward along with members of my community.

At the same time the random act of kindness bestowed upon me which nudged me enough to remember "who I am in Christ and who He called me to be" will pay off as a step back into ministry.

In a way I'll be "praying it forward."

Perhaps the healing will begin.

You can read my article on the upcoming festival here.

Vanishing Act

2010-03-09T19:05:00.000-08:00

Several years ago we went to see, world famous magician, David Cooperfield perform live. Both my husband and son are facinated by illusionists. I can't really say that I feel the same, although I must admit, some parts of the show were intriguing.

The final act required participation from the audience. I can't recall the number of people involved but I'll never forget the jaw-dropping response of the audience, myself included, as 25+ people vanish before our eyes. People nearly broke their necks scanning the auditorium in an effort to discover where they had gone.

Then, after a short bit of time that felt like hours, much to the amazement of the crowd they all reappeared. Unharmed they stood before us just as though they had never left. And despite the fact that they we were complete strangers we collectively breathed a loud sigh of relief. It was really quite impressive.

When we got home our son began scouring the internet to try to find out how it had been done. He had figured out most of the other tricks but could not get a handle on the closing act. And apparently the participants were sworn to secrecy. I'm uncertain of what kinds of threats were levied against them, or what bonuses were thrown at them, but no leaks could be found to explain this amazing feat.

They. vanished. before. our. eyes.

Disappearing.

I've been considering it lately.

Quite often.

Daily.

Sometimes hourly.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if I could perform such a trick.

Removed from sight.

Invisible.

Gone.

No blogs, emails, tweets, status updates, articles, phone conversations, voicemails, text messages or letters.

Absent. from. life.

How long would it take for people to notice aside from my immediate family?

And would my immediate family, aside from my fellow condo-dwellers, realize it?

How. long. would. it. take.

What difference would it make?

These are questions that have been on my mind lately. Not with a sense of morbitity but with a sense of wonder.

I have a wonderful family. I've also got siblings, in-laws, friends, and neighbors. And I have followers who read, write, and tweet with me. Each one of them is a blessing to me and I am thankful for them. Using the gift of encouragement, God has so graciously bestowed upon me, I endeavor to bring refreshment to them as they travel the road called "life." My desire is to be a blessing to them as well.

Yet with each passing day I more clearly see how tiring and treacherous life can be. For others, absolutely, and also for me.

I wonder if I've ever done anything that has made a lasting difference. Or has it all been words?

Empty words.

Statements like "that ministered to me", "I appreciate your prayers", "you're a blessing", "here's a hug", "love you, friend", "you can do it", etc. are constantly thrown around. I don't just hear them--I say them. And some days it all sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus.

Hocus pocus that makes me tired.

A few weeks ago someone posted a comment that stood out to me. I've been pondering it every since. @rickosborne asked this question on Facebook: "Why do we wait until people die before we focus on all their good points. They won't need the encouragement then. They need it now! : )" The responses to this question were honest and interesting. I wish I could share them as well.

It. really. made. me. think.

People vanish every minute. Most aren't part of a magic act. They don't know they are leaving and there is no one to bring them back.

Time after time, at memorial services, I've seen people come to pay their respects, offer their condolensces, and share with family & friends left behind words of encouragement about their departed loved one. It is always very moving.

There are people who compose music, write books, pen articles, draw with their mouths, and perform all kinds of random acts of kindness and yet many times they are regarded as invisible their entire lives. They only appear brillant, clever, masterful, and talented after they are gone. In my opinion there is something wrong with that.

Why do we wait?

What. are. we. waiting. for?

Why such casual attitudes and shallow relationships?

Do you ever feel like performing a vanishing act?

How long would you like to be gone for?

What would you expect when you get back?

Vanishing is not all bad, you know.

As I ponder it the words of the Psalmist come to mind: "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." (Psalm 139:7-10)

One of the reasons I've considered vanishing is because others can surely get by without me, but I can't get by without God. I don't want to run away from everything. I'd just like to drop everything and run to Him.

So if in the future it suddenly seems as though I have disappeared please know it is only part one of the show. I will reappear. Most of you won't even realize that I had vanished at all. And, unlike those people sworn to secrecy, regarding what they heard & saw during their experience, I'll be free to share. Hopefully I will learn something new and exciting that I can pass along.

Terrorist attack in Nashville leaves victim searching for truth

2010-02-23T17:43:00.000-08:00

This picture is of the lovely Natchez Trace Parkway where I recently experienced a terrorist attack. To read more on this sinister plot and the aftermath please click on the link below. It will take you to the "real time" news report on Examiner.com.

Terrorist attack in Nashville leaves victim searching for truth

I hope you will stop by to read it. In addition to blogging here I write there three to five times a week. Your subscription to my blogs and articles, along with your comments, and on-going support in both places is very much appreciated.

Sincere blessings!

Hear No Evil Giveaway

2010-02-19T22:39:00.000-08:00

We are currently giving away two copies of Matthew Paul Turner's new book Hear No Evil on our review site. Stop in for the whole scoop and be sure and leave your comments for a chance to win.

Hear No Evil Giveaway

Critical Care Giveaway

2010-02-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

We've just posted our review of Candace Calvert's book Critical Care. Along with the review we are offering a signed copy to one of our readers.

Please stop in over at Perusing The Printed Pages for more information and to enter the contest, which ends on February 21rst.

If you already have a copy come by and win one to give to a friend!

Love & War

2010-02-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

John and Stasi Elderedge's new book Love & War has been released just in time for Valentine's Day. You'll find more information on the book along with my review on Perusing the Printed Pages our review blog.

Enjoy!

How's Your Vision?

2010-02-10T17:16:00.000-08:00

"Then the LORD answered me and said: "Write the vision. And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:2-3

During one of my ~~many~~ hospital stays I had a life-threatening drug reaction known as Steven Johnson’s Syndrome. Each person reacts differently but for all it is a hellish experience. For me, the reaction started with my eyes and eventually moved down my shoulders. My body looked burned and my eyes blisters which made it impossible for me to see.

Fortunately my blindness was only temporary. As my eyes began to slowly heal it felt like someone was constantly throwing sand at me. Naturally, in response to this sensation, I kept my eyes closed most of the time unless I was drowning them in artificial tears. When I did open them the irritation made me blink rapidly which caused everything to be extremely blurred. I couldn't even see myself in the mirror.

One afternoon I was taken to the eye clinic to be examined. This involved reading an eye chart using several different instruments. No matter how rapidly I blinked I could not read the largest line of the chart. So, I did what most people do when they cannot really make the letters out. I made it seem like I could and did a lot of guessing. Unfortunately I'm not a "good guesser." The doctor was not all that impressed and I found it quite depressing.

Eventually the blisters on my corneas healed but I still felt like someone was constantly throwing sand in my eyes. I was not blind but I could not see, either. A simple procedure was recommended to help my eyes produce more moisture. The results were instantaneous and that same eye chart that I could not read before was suddenly much clearer. My eyes still had some healing to do but I could read enough to see that my vision was clearing and I was moving in a forward direction.

Recently while reading this passage of Scripture from Habakkuk I found myself relating to it differently then in the past especially regarding vision. My mind went back to the eye chart that I read. It was a standard one that is probably posted in eye clinics all around this nation. It had been written and was very plain. A child could read it. Why? Because they are blessed with something called "vision."

We are given "vision" in our spiritual lives as well and that vision helps us to read the signs and get where we need to go. God places something in us that becomes a motivating force. This vision is something that we can see clearly even from a distance. Sometimes we have to wait till the "lights get turned on" so to speak but when they come on we can see it clearly. The only time there is a problem is if our vision is impaired.

Impaired sight. Let's face it, sometimes our ability to see "the vision" is hindered. The enemy blinds us with the cares of this world. He throws the little things of life up in our faces until we are blinking furiously in an effort to see anything. Why? Because he does not want us to see the vision because he knows that what God has spoken He will bring to pass in due season.

The devil would rather that we close our eyes and or sit there blinded because it is then that he is truly able to hinder the work of God.

I could have stayed in that condition and right now would not be able to see this screen or keyboard. Fear could have kept me from having the procedure I needed to have my vision restored. I had to want to see clearly--and I did. Because of this I went to a physician who could help me. She did and as I said, immediately my sight improved greatly.

Perhaps your vision is ~~fuzzy~~ unclear today. Though God wrote it plainly on the tablet of your heart everything has become blurry and you can no longer see it. You may be walking around ~~totally~~ almost blind making things up as you go along that look like good things to do. As good as they may be, doing good things and doing God things are two completely different actions.

Is the enemy throwing every little thing he can find in your face at the moment? Whether it be your failures or mistakes or someone else’s, his lies can hinder our sight. God wants to open up our hearts so He can wash out the grit and grime. He wants to treat our eyes so that we can see the truth again. He does not want us to be blind to others or to Him.

As the Great Physician He specializes in the area of "vision." Do you need to be treated by Him today? With Him there are no long delays or waiting lists. Best of all He still makes house calls. There is no need to go around struggling to see that which God has already made PLAIN. Stop guessing and trying to impress people. Get your spiritual eyes examined and submit to necessary treatment (the Word of God administered by the power of the Holy Spirit) so that your vision will be 20/20 again.