January 1, 2011
All this left me a bit unsettled. I am a person who likes to have a plan. I also enjoy the sense of satisfaction that comes with setting and reaching goals. I like to know what is expected of me. In short, I am a bit of a control freak. Because of this I sought God, in the days leading up to my targeted date, for more details. Each time I came up empty. I found the silence to be unnerving.
A few days ago it seemed only right to let my friends on Facebook and Twitter know that I would be taking time off. Several people had concerns and contacted me privately. A few questioned the validity of what they began calling this "fast." That actually proved to be helpful as it caused me to return to God for additional confirmation. He quickly provided it. I hoped that a plan would unfold but it didn't. All I could come up with was 21 days.
Last night I logged out of my social network accounts. I can't say that it felt good. It's hard to have a sense of anticipation when you don't know what to expect. At least that is how things work for me. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. While I did operate in obedience, perhaps that did not include much faith.
Within a few hours I began to realize how frequently I use Facebook and Twitter as distractions for pain and insomnia. It only took a few more hours more to come to the conclusion that if God did not show up during these 21 days that this break would quickly turn into a "fast" that would be slow to pass and very painful. In the middle of the night I found myself praying some desperate prayers.
This morning I slept in. On a typical day I read from several devotional books and then move on to my inbox for more. Today I was unsure of where to begin. I picked up my copy of Jesus Calling to see where it might lead. I read it, re-read it and then took time to ponder it. Afterwards I discussed one sentence with my husband. Then I grabbed a journal. My plan was to write the statement down for future reference.
That's about the time that it happened. Call it manna from heaven or a feast fit for a queen. All I know is that four pages into the entry it dawned on me that it would probably be better if I typed things in my digital journal for the remaining 20 days. God had shown up in a big way and answered many of the questions that had plagued me in the days leading up to this break. What a difference a day and a single act of obedience can make.
What might have been a fast, without His Presence, had quickly become a feast. It was very hard for me to push away from the table and I can't wait to go back for more--and more--and more. The greatest part about this meal is that all that I have to do is show up. He has prepared a table before me, and only asks that I accept the invitation to come and dine with Him.
That is an offer that is simply to good to refuse. I have a feeling that God has an invitation with your name on it as well. It might not involve a 21 course meal but, whatever the case, I hope you will consider taking Him up on the invite.
Oh and let me be the first to say, just in case you are wondering, that the food is out of this world.